Helping Yourself to Weight Loss Success
Several months ago, a nice lady emailed me about her difficulty in losing weight. She mentioned that she had issues in turning to sweets whenever she was stressed. In her message to me, she was beating herself up for her perceived lack of discipline. She wrote, "Kim, right now I have some cookies in my cabinet and I'm tempted to go and eat them. Why doesn't God give me the discipline to resist them?"
After assuring her that I too would struggle under similar circumstances, I shared with her a principle I live by, which comes from the martial arts: The best way to win a fight is to avoid getting into one in the first place. In her case, the best way to resist the cookies was to avoid bringing the cookies into the house in the first place.
After assuring her that I too would struggle under similar circumstances, I shared with her a principle I live by, which comes from the martial arts: The best way to win a fight is to avoid getting into one in the first place. In her case, the best way to resist the cookies was to avoid bringing the cookies into the house in the first place.
Are you creating daily "fights" with yourself by surrounding yourself with food temptations? If so, you are making weight loss needlessly hard!
In setting yourself up for weight loss success, you must create a healthy "safety zone" around yourself. The fact is, people do what people see. If you don't have healthy foods in your home, healthy snacks at the office for emergencies, or prepare before you visit restaurants, then you are pretty much at the mercy of whatever you see or smell.
Here are two tips to create a healthy safety zone around yourself and help yourself to weight loss success:
Ar
1. Keep healthy foods available and within reach.
Be sure that you have plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein in your home. One thing that helps me out is to batch cook on Saturdays. I cook vegetables, chicken breasts, oven-fry fish, bake sweet potatoes and freeze it all in smaller containers. That way, when I'm busy during the week, I can just take something out of the freezer and maybe add a side item for a quick meal.
This allows me to reach for food that satisfies me from the inside/out rather than surrounding myself with foods that just satisfy my tongue.
Another tip is to keep a fruit bowl on the counter or dining room table. Keeping it within sight and reach makes it more likely you will eat it. Whenever possible, avoid bringing the high fat, high sugar items into your home. But if you must, make sure it is the smallest possible box or bag you can get. The principle is, if you can't (or don't want to) avoid the temptation, then minimize the damage by practicing wise portion control.
2. Be prepared whenever you eat away from home.
While it is true that some fast food restaurants are offering healthy items on their menus today, most menu items are still either fatty, salty, sugary, or a combination of the three. Be honest: If you go into Burger King and smell the hamburgers and fries, how likely is it that you will order a salad? You don't want to lead yourself into temptation.
However if you must go to a fast food restaurant, then I recommend that you check out the establishment's Web site beforehand. Usually, they will post the menu and provide nutritional statistics on the items they offer. You can decide ahead of time what you will have. Then, go to the drive thru to get it. That way, you won't be tempted by the smells of the unhealthy stuff.
At work, keep a water bottle or jug on your desk that you sip on throughout the day. Many times, we eat food when our body is really crying for water.
Also, keep a few snacks with you so you aren't at the mercy of the vending machines. Apples, oranges, small packs of raisins, almonds, pretzels, air-popped popcorn with parmesan cheese, or low sodium tomato soup or vegetable soup are some examples of food you can keep with you for emergencies. Proper planning is good for your health and your waistline.
To learn more simple ways you can create a healthy safety zone around yourself and help yourself to weight loss success, then register today for my new 'Take Back Your Temple' teleclass. Let 2008 be the year you stop wishing for your best body and start living in it!
Standing Up for Yourself
I had never been so angry in my life. I was leading a meeting and my authority was challenged by a man with a known "Napolean" complex. I had asked for a status update from his team and his response was snide and disrespectful. Now, he had previously demonstrated a negative attitude in previous meetings and I had ignored it. But I couldn't ignore it any longer and I did something that was totally un-Christian. I went off on him in front of everyone.
Afterwards, I was shaking. I'm sure I shocked everyone because I was known for my cool, calm personality at that company. In fact, one of my coworkers had a name for it: The Zen of Kim. Although I regretted losing my temper, I didn't regret what I said. Later on that day, "Napolean" came to me and apologized. It was my first realization that the world would not end if I stood up for myself. In fact, I believe that there was a new beginning to my world because that was another pivotal moment in my decision to lose my excess weight.
You see, up until that time I was always "The Nice Girl." If anyone asked me to do something, I would smile and say "Yes." Sometimes I didn't even want to say yes and secretly resented it, but I would still say 'yes' because I wanted the other person to like me.
Now I recognize that a lot of my behavior was passive-aggressive. For example, I had a boyfriend who would often ask me what movie I wanted to see. I'd say, "I don't care." But deep down, I did care. He'd pick a movie, usually one that I didn't want to see, but I went along with it anyway. Then I'd been miserable at the movie and resent him because he didn't guess what movie I wanted to see!
I realize now I was causing a lot of unnecessary stress for myself. I was eating excessively, stuffing my feelings down with food instead of expressing them honestly…as it was my right to do as a human being.
So I want to ask you…are you expressing yourself assertively? Here are three questions to ask to find out:
1. Can you say 'No' without guilt?
If you are in a position to do so, I want you to say the word, "No" out loud. Did the world come crashing down around you? Chances are, it didn't! The reason the ability to say no is so important is this: Your time on earth is limited. You have things to do and only a limited amount of time to do them in. If you are busy saying "yes" to the wrong things, you will not have time left to say "yes" to the right things.
Before you can say 'No' without guilt, you have to be clear about the things that are important to you. For example, you know I preach that self-care is very important. However, if your schedule is so packed that you haven't left time for that and doing things that bring you joy, then something is wrong. You need to look at your day and figure out the things that you need to eliminate to have time for the things you value. Everyone may not like it, but it's your life and you deserve to live it in the way that suits you best.
2. Do you set boundaries with people?
Ever heard the saying, "Give an inch and some people will take a mile"? It is so true! You do one thing for certain people out of kindness and they came back to you with a list of 10 more. Or you loan them money because they said they were in danger of being kicked out of their apartment. Two months later, they are back…only this time, they need rent money and the car payment too!
Here are some words to live by and I think Dr. Phil said them: We teach people how to treat us. If someone has treated you in a disrespectful manner and you don't say anything, then you have just told that person that it is okay to continue doing it. You must speak up and tell people when they have crossed the line. You can do it in private, and do it respectfully but it must be done. Otherwise, resentment will pile up and probably explode. That's what happened in my dealings with "Napolean."
If I had to do it over again, I would have taken him aside the first time he was disrespectful and calmly set that boundary. Then I would have avoided a lot of stress on my part and the explosion that came later.
3. Do you state your opinions without apology?
On this point, I am not talking about being obnoxious. But don't say "I don't know" or "I don't care" if asked for your opinion when you really do! It's disrespectful to yourself when you lie like that. I believe it diminishes your confidence and sends a message to yourself and others that you aren't important. It seems like a small thing but it makes a big difference in your self-esteem and the way you manage your weight and health.
To learn more about standing up for yourself and the role assertiveness plays in helping you manage stress and your weight better, then register today for my new 'Take Back Your Temple' teleclass. You can access the
Registration page here. Let 2008 be the year you stop wishing for your best body and start living in it!
Overcoming Emotional Eating
Last night, I watched a special on the TLC network called ‘I Eat 33,000 Calories a Day’ about four people who were in bondage to food addiction. Their weights ranged from 468 pounds to over 700 pounds. The two men were confined to bed and had to rely on others to take care of their most basic needs; one of the women lived her life in the small area between her bed, the kitchen, the bathroom, and a recliner parked in front of the television.
And the “lightest” of them all, a woman at 468 pounds, was still mobile but stated “I’m killing myself slowly every day.” These stories illustrated to me the terrible toll emotional and stress eating can have on people if left unchecked.
As I listened to their stories, a clear pattern emerged as to what was going on with them. Although they were different sexes and races, they were all confined to the same prison. I recognized it so well because I had once lived there. I came to call it the “Loopy” cycle. Here’s how it went:
Food became the way I dealt with life. I experienced stress and emotional upsets, which led me to crave sweets (candy, cookies, cakes), refined carbohydrates (breads, pastas, white rice), and high fat foods (chips, french fries, burgers, and other deep fried items). I would feel good immediately after eating, even high, but then came the crash—I would feel drugged, lethargic, sleepy, irritable, anxious, and depressed. Lacking energy made it difficult to even try to exercise. All I wanted to do after work and caring for others was crash in front of the television.
Of course, living this way made me gain weight. This led to stress and feelings of emotional upset. And this led to more food cravings. Do you see why I called the cycle “Loopy?”
After I had the chest pain that ended up being the motivation for my own 85-pound weight loss, I begin to come out of the Loopy cycle and into the Power cycle. I want to share with you some of the things I learned that set me free. Here are three questions to ask yourself to determine if you are caught up in the Loopy cycle:
1. Is Food a Stronghold in Your Mind?
In the special I watched, one of the women stated, “Food is one of the first things I think about when I wake up. It’s one of the last things I think about before I go to bed.” Are your thoughts occupied by thinking about what you are going to eat, anticipating how it is going to taste, and craving how it makes you feel?
I must admit when I was struggling with my weight, that is exactly how my thoughts went. In Isaiah 26:3, the scripture says, “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.” I did not have perfect peace because food was occupying the place in my mind where God should have been.
2. Is Food Making You “Loopy”?
Do you experience stress, anxiety, depression, irritability, and emotional upsets frequently? It may not be your fault. If your diet consists mostly of sugar, high fat, and refined carbohydrates, it is likely these foods are interfering with your brain function. To maintain emotional stability, the brain must maintain a delicate balance between three chemicals: glucose (blood sugar), serotonin (a neurotransmitter associated with feelings of calm and relaxation), and beta-endorphin (the body’s natural pain relievers). Processed foods disrupt that balance.
To get out of the cycle, you must eat foods that stabilize the production of these chemicals to return the brain to balance. Which foods? These would be foods high in ‘B’ and ‘C’ vitamins and the mineral Zinc. You also need foods high in fiber. Most of these are found in fruits and vegetables (see Genesis 1:29). You also need to include “good” fats in your diet to help your brain recognize when you have had enough to eat.
3. Are limiting beliefs keeping you trapped?
Your words create your world. Every person in the special I watched spoke in negative, victim language: “Food is a struggle.” “It’s a constant battle.” “There is no cure.” “There is nothing I can do about it.”
Take the following test to see if limiting beliefs are holding you back:
Stand in front of a mirror. Take a few deep breaths, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. When you feel relaxed, say these three statements:
· I weigh___________and am a size____________.
(Note: Make the statement the weight and size you want to be rather than what you are).
· My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit
· I maintain my ideal weight easily and joyfully
As you spoke these statements aloud, did any negative or doubting thoughts come up? Did you experience increased tension in your body? If so, this points to limiting beliefs that are holding you back. This conflict causes you to say you want to lose weight, but do things that lead you in the opposite direction. Limiting beliefs also contribute to stress and anxiety, which feeds the cycle of compulsive overeating.
To learn more about overcoming emotional overeating, the specific foods that can heal you of food cravings, managing stress, and how to break through the limiting beliefs that are keeping you from achieving your ideal weight, then register for my new ‘Take Back Your Temple’ teleclass. You can access the Registration page here. It’s time for people of faith to take back our temples and walk in the power God has given to us.
Kim
