Change Quiz: “I don’t believe I can change” or “I don’t want to change”

weight-loss-blog-change-ladder

In this post, I’ll cover what the first two responses mean to the Change quiz:  “I don’t want to change” and “I don’t believe I can change.”

First, let’s review “I don’t want to change.”

To solve any problem, you must recognize first that you have one. That is why this answer to the Change quiz doesn’t count.

If a person refuses to see that they have a problem, then there isn’t much you can do for them from a Christian perspective except to pray that the Lord opens their blinded eyes.

For change to happen, desire must be present. Desire has to come from within.

The next answer was “I don’t believe I can change.” Typically, that response comes from discouragement; the person has tried to change multiple times but they have labeled their past attempts as failures.

As a result, they’ve concluded that their past experience must mean that their present and future will be more of the same.

And so they are afraid to try again.

To move from this level, you need to get a different spirit.

You see, it is perfectly normal for a person of the world to operate in unbelief in this area because all they see are the circumstances around them.

But not so the child of God.

You see, a person of the world only has themselves to depend on when it comes to change.

Plus, they are stuck at their past experience.

However, as children of God, we have the ability to see with Spiritual eyes, into the future that is possible with God’s help.

He invites us to come to the throne of grace to receive refreshment, revival, wisdom and courage to do everything that He calls to do.

Here is a scripture that proves that change is possible in Romans 12:2:

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

God would not write in his Word that we are to be transformed if it were not possible with the Holy Spirit’s help.

“Yes,” you might say, “but change is not possible for ME.”

Excuse me? I don’t recall this Scripture ending with “…except for___(fill in your name).”

Can you say that change is impossible without looking at your past?

Your future does not have to be the same as your past! You are not stuck in your past.

With God, all things are possible. You can change with His help.

Another objection to believing this Scripture could be true is, “But you don’t know all the things that I’ve been through!”

It is true that I don’t, but God does. Do you think that your situation is too hard for him?

Remember, you serve the same God who:

  • Parted the Red Sea
  • Brought new life to barren wombs
  • Helped His people defeat countless enemies
  • Restored sight to blinded eyes
  • Made the lame walk
  • Raised people from the dead

Surely He can help you with your eating problem.

The real question is: Will you do the work of renewing your mind and doing what God calls you to do?

Refusing to believe that God can help you is the same as denying His power.

The apostle Paul had a warning for those in this state.

In 2 Timothy 3:5-7, he described people who deny God’s power:

…having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

The second scriptural proof that you can change is found in 1 Corinthians 10:13:

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

While the first Scripture speaks to the ability to have your heart and mind changed, this scripture speaks of the ability to change your actions.

With every temptation, we are promised that God himself makes a way for us to escape.

But if you don’t believe that an escape route is there, you will not even look for one.

Just imagine being in a burning building and having a window or door available for you to escape to safety.

But because you believe that the door or window couldn’t possibly be there, then you ignore their presence, sit down, and resign yourself to perishing in the fire!

“Wait”, you might say, “the temptations that I deal with are incredibly strong. Nobody knows how hard this is.”

Yes, it can be hard. But you are not alone. Remember, temptation is common to man; even Jesus Christ in his earthly body was tempted (Luke 4:1-13)!

And get this, even when He successfully combated Satan’s temptations with Scripture, the temptations were not over.

“Now when the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from Him until an opportune time.”

– Luke 4:13

The devil continued to look for opportunities to tempt Jesus and that Jesus had to continue to battle him with God’s word.

I still have to deal with temptations and so does everyone else who answered “I’ve changed and it’s part of my life.”

While I am not perfect in combating temptations like Jesus was, I am determined to take up my arms and fight them.

Jesus did not die for us to give up without a fight!

Finally, you might say, “I know what the Bible says, but I just don’t feel like changing.”

In that case, you have chosen to elevate your feelings above God’s word.

That puts your real mental state back at answer zero (0): ” I don’t want to change.”

In that case, prayer is the answer for a heart change.

I am going to end this with a quote by the late pastor, Charles Spurgeon. Perhaps his words will convince you about the seriousness of the state:

” It is a very easy thing for us to get into a desponding state of heart, and to mistrust the promises and faithfulness of God, and yet, all the while, to look upon ourselves as the subjects of a disease which we cannot help, and even to claim pity at the hands of our fellow-men, and to think that they should condole with us, and try to cheer us.

It will be far wiser for each one of us to feel, ‘This unbelief of mine is a great wrong in the sight of God. He has never given me any occasion for it, and I am doing him a cruel injustice by thus doubting him. I must not idly sit down, and say, This has come upon me like a fever, or a paralysis, which I cannot help; but I must rather say, This is a great sin, in which I must no longer indulge; but I must confess my unbelief…”

Today, ask the Lord to help you with your unbelief. Ask him to open your eyes so that you may see his deliverance right in front of you and restore your hope.

Ask him to help you move forward to the next stage, which is “I’m thinking about changing.

Kimberly Taylor

Author of the Take Back Your Temple program

About the author 

Kimberly Taylor

Kimberly Taylor is a certified Christian life coach and has a heart to help others struggling with emotional eating and weight loss. Once 240 pounds and a size 22, she can testify of God’s goodness and healing power to overcome. She lost 85 pounds as a result of implementing techniques to overcome emotional eating and binge eating disorder.

Kim is the author of "The Take Back Your Temple Program," which teaches Christians how to take control of their weight God's way and the books "The Weight Loss Scriptures" and "The Weight Loss Prayers."

Kim has been featured in Prevention Magazine, Charisma Magazine and on CBN’s 'The 700 Club' television program.

  • I’ve applied the lessons that you’ve taught in the TBYT Kim. It really helped me to lose weight from 155 lbs to 122 lbs. Somehow, this year, I was just taken aback by the changes. I feel like I’ve allowed myself to be put in a defeated position, and I didn’t even realize it. Those little decisions that I’ve made along the way, made me think that I’m stuck. My weight now slowly rose up to 125. I wanted to have a 107 lbs weight so I can run faster, and so I’ll feel good in my tummy just feeling light, strong, and healthy.

    This post is really helpful to me. When I looked at the 5 stages for a permanent change, I realized that I’m at Level 1. It’s good to have you tell me through your article, that I need to examine myself. I know I can change, and I know that God is there for me to help me make the change. I also know that it won’t take me a year to get to my goal weight, but I’m just happy that now, I am face-to-face with my problem.

    • I am glad to hear that, Michelle! The journey is about learning to live as a fit and healthy person – whatever the number is on the scale because your body needs good care no matter what. I am glad that you have a different perspective that will enable you to stay healthy for life 🙂

  • Kim this hits home for me. I believe God to do everything for everyone else but have continued to stand in His way when it comes to healing me. I often know when He sends we a way of escape. I get emotional and want to binge on unhealthy foods. I know what it has done for me in the past but will do it anyway.

    This time I vow to allow Him to take full control of me and my eating habits. Since joining TBYT I am learning to keep my eyes on Him when it comes to food. It’s crazy how many of us don’t get that He cares about that area of our lives as well.

    I AM HEALED! IN JESUS NAME, AMEN!

  • I fall between I don’t want to change and I don’t believe I can change. Fact is I don’t believe “I” can change me… but I do know that God can change me – I just have to have the belief within me and see what my future is like when I allow the Holy Spirit to help me through this journey! The invitation is there for me to come to the throne of Grace to receive refreshment, revival, wisdom & courage to everything that God calls me to do! I’m changing.. with God’s help, I’m changing and I’m feeling very encouraged! I’ve skimmed through this program a few times – but I admit I wasn’t willing to admit that I have an eating problem or looked at it as a spiritual issue. God is opening my eyes and heart to reality!! The quote from Charles Spurgeon really summed it up for me! “This unbelief of mine is a great WRONG in the sight of God”! Ready for the next step in the process 🙂

  • I have been so discouraged lately to where I have felt such defeat and depression over how I’ve been eating. I was on another Christian based program at the beginning of the year and last about 2 weeks. I have joined all kinds of diet programs over the last few years and just wasted money because I never finished. Lately I have been desperate to stop this binge eating cycle and have been looking for any kind of diet pill out there. I feel like I’m really in a bad place. To where I would Sabotage my body and health to lose weight and to stop craving and stuffing my face with sweets and foods that are bad. Anyways, I will reread this article again and try to get it in my mind and spirit better.

    • Jennifer, I read what you wrote and here is one thing you need to remember – the God factor. You are looking to yourself for power to do what is right, but that is the wrong place to look. Why? Because our flesh does not want to do what is right. Here is the right place: Power to Do the Right Thing

      If you are in Christ, you have the same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus on the inside of you. Pause and think about that. Allow that to sink into your Soul. What’s needed to start is to take God’s word and start making it yours. Here is how to do that: https:// How to Appropriate God’s word.

      I pray the Lord open your eyes to the truth, that you gain understanding, and that you live it out!

  • I definitely need to work on my mindset and turn to God for help. I feel like I will never kick my sugar cravings. It has such a strong hold on me.

    • Hi Angela – Sugar is a stronghold and if you are relying on your own strength to change, you can’t do it because your flesh doesn’t want to. It’s the same with all of us who struggle.

      But with the Lord’s help, you can and HE makes the difference. Check this out to help with the mindset issue: POWER to Do the Right Thing

      May God bless you on this journey!

  • I have had a lifelong pattern of lack of discipline in many areas of my life. I know self control is godly, Biblical and right. In the past I’ve had success in this area but it seems I always default to my old habits. I’m glad to know God has nor forgotten or given up on me. Today is a new day and I do believe He will help me. It is myself I cannot trust, but I can trust God. I pray that will stay at the forefront of my mind.

    • Hi Sara – The hardest part of the whole process is renewing your mind to new ways of thinking and relying on God’s strength to help you do the right thing day by day. I pray you remember the words of the late author Corrie Ten Boom: “If you look at the world, you’ll be distressed. If you look within, you’ll be depressed. If you look at God you’ll be at rest.”

  • Searching for solutions to my weight loss always comes at a costly price.. I’ve stocked up on expensive meal replacement shakes, fat burning pills and supplements – only to quit before the supplies are finished. Many of my friends around me have had the weight loss surgery or are on the waiting list. I don’t think surgery is for me – not at this time anyway. I know God can help me lose the weight. He never fails – I am the one who fails. I am so easily distracted and so weak. I’ve been reading your articles and watching some of your videos on youtube and I finally decided to become a member to learn more about how you have changed your life. Everything you’re saying that is touching me, I’m writing down in my journal – I’ve always felt my weight was not an issue to bring to God. The enemy sure has had me bound! I’m going to try this program in hopes that I will continue to be accountable and come back daily for support. I look forward to a life changing experience and a closer relationship with the Lord. God Bless you Kimberly.

    • I’m happy you joined us, Jennifer! I always tell TBYT members that the MENTAL work of TBYT is harder than any physical work you will do. When you do the mental work of change, the changes will last. God bless you on this journey!

  • Although I really am in step 4, changing habits and seeing results of the changes, I feel that I actually haven’t passed this step one. With so many failures in the past I have this reoccurring thought that no matter what I do, longterm change will not be possible for me. It’s not that I don’t believe that God can do anything, I firmly believe that. I just worry that He won’t deliver me because it’s “my cross to bear” or that “thorn in my side” that won’t be taken away.

    • Hi Brooke – I appreciate your feedback. Unless God has spoken to you that this is a ”cross to bear” or ”thorn in your side” that He won’t take away, then keep moving forward in faith! Sometimes the enemy will whisper lies to you to keep you from the future God wants you to have. Or it may be your own fears or negative programming that keeps you stuck. I would recommend that you seek the Lord in prayer about His will for you rather than basing your actions on what happened in your past. You future does not have to be the same as your past unless you don’t do the work of renewing your mind. That’s the real work of change because if you do that, you can be assured that you will reach your dream in due season!

  • Wow! I signed up for the program a couple of days ago. Really the only thing I’ve used so far is the praise walk. It seemed a bit ridiculous, but it sure does work. 🙂 Then I read this post this morning. All these years I thought I needed sympathy; turns out I needed someone who understands how much anger I can be hide behind my smiling face to tell me the truth, that the way I’m living my life, dousing myself with anger all the time, is really me telling God that I don’t trust Him. This program is going to be good for me, even if I never lose a pound; I’ve already come closer to my Heavenly Father, which is really everything.

    Thank you so much Kim, for being honest in front of the world about what you were hiding all those years. I’ve never heard anyone talk about anger before with relation to weight issues. It’s truly liberating.

    Dee

    • You are welcome, Dee! TBYT is not about living a diet; it is about living your life in a way so that you come to know God, even through weight loss struggles. I am so glad these words ministered to you. To God be all the glory!

  • Hi, just wanted to know if thee bundle is available on kindle? Can I open it on my ipad? Or just a PC or Mac? Thanks!

  • I pray about losing weight in a healthy way. About 3 years ago I started drinking water instead of diet pepsi. From there I cut back on portions. After about 12 months I had lost about 65 pounds. I am gradually gaining again. I have started eating whatever and whenever. I started out weighing 252 went down to 185 and now I am at 205. I would really like to be spirirlt guided to heathier living.

  • I found this site because I was aware that this problem for me is a spiritual one. I had to be honest about the test and say “I don’t believe I can change” but I certainly know I can with God’s help. Thank you for the verses I have known and now feel renewed; I have recorded them in my journal as a reminder to read and apply on day 2. Day one is on my bedside table. Thank you for your commitment to our encouragement.

  • Praise God! So glad to have stumbled across this website! I have struggled with food addiction and binge-eating for years. I have managed to lose over 100 pounds in the past couple of years with diet and exercise. Yet it is So nice to see that there is a Christ-Centered approach to dealing with this compulsion. Looking forward to applying some of what I have read so far : )

    • I am glad that God lead you to this site! We know that there are no accidents. I pray that the information bless you as you continue on this journey.

  • Funny how one can so easily sabotage one’s on success by compromising on what one already knows what is best. I appreciate your writings and recognize where I stand at this present time. It will take a lot of discipline on my part to achieve what my heart desires. As a nurse working steady night shift, it’s not easy due to the lack of sleep and the constant tiredness that comes with this. Nonetheless, there is no other way then discipline and to keep on pushing until I decide to retire from this career.
    I will continue to read & pray that breakthrough will occur with accelerated speed as I continue to meditate and to get to know Him even more on a personal basis.
    If you have additional article that would be relevant for me at this time, I would appreciate it greatly.
    Again, thank you.

    • Hi Gisele – I can relate to being a nurse on the night shift and the havoc it can play on your body. My weight gain started with the 2:00 am cheeseburger runs to the hospital snack shop. Then, I would turn around and eat breakfast when I got home and go to bed after. A recipe for weight gain if there ever was one! Think about what your current health habits are and start “tweaking” those. Could you bring healthy meals/snacks to work instead of eating from the snack bar or the hospital cafeteria? Could you start walking 1 flight of stairs on your break and work up? You don’t have to overhaul your life. Here’s a secret: The smaller you make your changes, the less discipline you need to follow through. You can do this with God’s help!

  • After reading this, it was very clear that you point to a “lack of faith or unbelief”. I am a diabetic which did extremely well in the first few months and found myself justifying habits & behavior which is leading me back to where I was before. If eating without control, if eating without limits is not biblical, then I do confess that I have been living with a sinful mindset exercising my right to comfort myself daily with buffets, take-outs and large portions at restaurants. After all, it is all in the name of fellowship. The church with its multiple plates of desserts, with its multiple banquets & pot lucks appears to be telling me that one is unable to have fellowship without tons of food. Also, it tells me that appreciation for food preparation is displayed by an uncomfortable feeling of “eating way too much”.
    A lifetime of eating habits is challenged by the Word of God. Control must be exercised in order to be a witness, to show that God is enough to satisfy me and to comfort me. Yes, food is also meant to be pleasurable beside the fact that we must eat to live, we can also eat for pleasure as long as it is controlled.
    The biggest challenge in all of this would be to mirror this lifetime habit to the Word and see how it is reflected. To discover my relationship with God is hindered by how I eat is very surprising since the church promotes it so much. In general, people love food, will go where food is offered and will keep returning to the home that feeds them not raw veggies, but pastas, desserts, fried food etc…..
    For most people that live alone like me, most of the time, I do not feel like cooking for one person. I would rather call someone to go out to eat or go over their place to eat whatever they prepare. Does this mean that I do not consider myself worthy of good food preparation? Am I not worth it? Do I not love myself enough to do this?
    This is very puzzling to me. It sort of sounds selfish. I don’t eat this, I don’t eat that, I must have this or that etc…..
    So much to learn…..
    Time is running short. Time for prayer.

    • Hi Gisele – God created food to be enjoyed, not to be obsessive over it. Romans 14:17 says it best: “for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” As a believer in Jesus Christ, you have the wisdom of God living inside of you through the indwelling Holy Spirit. When you get out of balance with your eating, then you can lose your peace and joy. I think a couple of articles might help clear things up:

      Does God Care About Your Weight
      God’s Appetite Suppressant

      It takes time to renew your mind to God’s word in this issue, so be patient with yourself. With prayer and commitment to following God’s word, you will succeed!

  • I admit I read this rapidly so I need to read it again more slowly. The scriptures you mention are good, but they don’t seem to even encourage me. Yes, I am discouraged. I have self defeating habits that I need to get total freedom from. I get up and get started only to be knocked down again and then stomped on. I am tired and now I am afraid to try because I have failed so many times in the past. Temptation is not the issue here—self defeating habits and attitudes seem to be the problem. I can’t motivate myself because that means setting a goal and having a plan. If there is a plan in place I manage to get off the plan every time.

    • Well that’s the problem, no one can help you except God. I had to cry out to God to teach me discipline, it is not an easy thing to get taught, it sucks, but even if you pray that ave God gives you the opportunity to learn it, nothing will change if you do not submit to the process.

      No amount of bible verses will help you if you don’t apply them or believe them. The Israelites had God with them day and night in the wilderness and were fed by him, and still complained and figured his abilities to provide time and again, they had a very bad attitude and negative mindset.

      Provision is not the issue nor is habits for you, it it application of what you already know you need to be doing, and choosing to believe God’s promises and healing from your past, the abuse and pain you stuffed doesn’t have to chain you anymore, step in to from and become the person God caked you to be, read the word daily no matter how it makes you feel.

      God has given you the tools you need, use them and get around people who will support and encourage you in your journey, ave step away from those who do not. The bible talks a lot about not having bad association, it hurts us.

      God will heal you, he is waiting for you to stay on the journey and not leave it this time, His arms are wide open ave he head already forgave you for the past failures, so forgive yourself. If God sent his son so we duo not have to go to hell, and pay for our sins, which he did on the cross, than this is no big thing.

      Believe and trust, that is your goal. You know what to do, do it ave don’t stop.

      ~Amy

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