Robin Williams Death: Bible Answers for Suicidal Thoughts

Suicidal-ThoughtsMy heart is heavy. I’m still reeling over the shock of comedian Robin Williams’ death. While that news was an earthquake, finding out that he died by suicide was a painful aftershock.

Suicide. That word brings back memories I would rather forget.

As a teen and in my early 30s, I battled depression and suicidal thoughts. In my early 30’s, I was already a Christian. And I still had thoughts of ending my life.

A Christian counselor helped me see the light so that I could get out of the dark tunnel I was in.

Because I’ve seen both sides of this issue, I want to give you Biblical answers for suicidal thoughts. Your thinking is where suicide begins.

Now Robin Williams had everything this world says we should want:

  • Money
  • Power
  • Fame
  • Success
  • Spouse/Family

And yet, this foundation was not strong enough to hold him up. The voice of suicide can come in your most vulnerable moments: “Things are bad.”

While you can agree on that point, if you end it there, then Suicide can depress your thoughts even further. It speaks to you in your own voice:

  • “Things are not going to get any better.”
  • “I can’t take this anymore.”
  • “They will be better off without me.”
  • “My dying will end the pain.”

But every statement is a lie from the enemy. Robin was not alone in believing the lies. Even some pastors believed them – and committed suicide too as a result.

So if Suicide ever tries to seduce you, you need Biblical answers for it. Let’s look at each of the lies more closely.

Lie #1: “Things are not going to get any better.”

This lie is based on the false assumption that your past equals your future. Yes, your past and your current circumstances may be bad. But the Bible is full of people who made a comeback after adversity.

Read the story of Joseph (Genesis chapters 37, 39-45). Joseph’s adversity started when he was sold into slavery in Egypt. However, it ended with him saving many lives when famine came into the land, including his own family.

Here are two promises the Bible makes about the future for Believers:

o   “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).”

o   “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11).”

Lie #2: “I can’t take this anymore.”

This lie sounds true – if all you can see are your own resources. But you are not limited to your own resources. As a Christian, God calls you to community not isolation. You have God and a community of other Believers backing you up!

o   “Two are better than one,

Because they have a good reward for their labor.

For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls,

For he has no one to help him up (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).”

o   “not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching (Hebrews 10:25).”

Fellowship with other Spirtually- minded Believers is an empowering resource. You need to associate with those who are bearing Spiritual fruit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

If you need Christian counseling, then seek it. There is no shame in admitting you need help. Reach out for it. Don’t let pride stop you.

TBYT reader Gwenda shared this information also: If you are feeling suicidal and if you don’t know who to talk to, this 24/7 hotline may be a safe place to start: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). The site also provides guidance if somebody you know is suicidal and you don’t know what to do to help them.

Then, there is the biggest promise of all that you can handle whatever life throws at you:

o   “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).”

The operative phrase here is “through Christ.” He supplies the strength to help you endure whatever situation you are going through.

For more guidance on how to overcome trials and tribulations, click here.

Lie #3: “They will be better off without me.”

During my teenage years, I remember thinking that the world would be better off without me. Praise God, thoughts of suicide didn’t go any further. I didn’t want to hurt my mom. As a single mom, she had sacrificed everything to give me and my younger sister a better life. I knew my suicide would cause her unspeakable grief that would last the rest of her life.

Now I’m almost 50 years old and I am glad to be alive! I know that God has a great plan for my life. He has a great plan for you too, just like he did for the prophet Jeremiah:

o   “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations (Jeremiah 1:5).”

And this is a promise specific for you:

o   “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).”

Because you are still living, you must believe that God still has a purpose for you. Someone needs the gifts that God has placed inside of you. It is your job to find that person or persons, and give those gifts to them.

Lie#4: “My dying will end the pain.”

This is the biggest lie of all. Suicide is the ultimate statement of:

“God, I don’t believe you.”

A person who commits suicide exchanges one form of pain for another, bigger pain. The bigger pain is eternal separation from God, the one who created you and loves you best. The only exception I can think of is if the person confessed Jesus as the son of God in his last moments, much like one of the thieves who hung on the cross with Jesus (see Luke 23:40-43).

Please listen to this song and let it minister to your heart:

Jesus Lover of My Soul

That thief confessed the Lord. However, we have an enemy who is also described as a thief. Remember his plan: “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly (John 10:10).”

If you are a child of God, you also recognize that your body does not belong to you (see 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

These scriptures paint a picture of the end for those who believe God’s word:

o   “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16).”

o   “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved (Romans 10:9).”

o   “And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent (John 17:3).”

o   “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him (John 14:21).”

o   “Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him (James 1:12).”

The Bible also paints a picture of the end for those who don’t believe:

 o   “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).”

o   “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness (Matthew 7:21-23)!’

The only thing that saves any of us is belief that Jesus justified us through His sacrifice on the cross and our confession of it.

From this knowledge, we follow His Word and come to build a strong, intimate relationship with Him through the power of the Holy Spirit. This is a daily relationship, not Sunday only.

The Holy Spirit is our Comforter, not Suicide.

My heart and prayers go out to the Williams’ family. Robin’s death is a sobering reminder of the scriptural warning:

“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall (1 Corinthians 10:12).”

You and I must keep the following truths in mind to keep ourselves emotionally strong and guard against suicidal thoughts:

  • We must affirm God’s love for us constantly, regardless of our performance.
  • Whenever we feel weak, we must run to the Lord in prayer to regain His perspective of life.
  •  We must be ruthless in watching our thoughts and diligent in replacing any lies with the truth of God’s word.
  • We must stay in God’s Word so that we recognize a lie when we hear it, even one in our own voices.
  • We must be steadfast in applying God’s Word in our daily lives so that we can endure any storms that come.
  • We must stay connected with a community of Believers who are growing in Spiritual fruit.
  • We must operate in our purposes to give value and meaning to our lives.

Above all, we must love the Lord with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength. We must believe His Word that we will receive our crowns of life – if we endure to the end.

To learn more about starting a relationship with God or re-dedicating your life to Christ, click here.

Kimberly Taylor

Kim’s Update: Some people have commented to say that they disagree with my statement “A person who commits suicide exchanges one form of pain for another, bigger pain. The bigger pain is eternal separation from God, the one who created you and loves you best.” Many of those people have lost loved ones to suicide who professed Christ. My heart goes out to you. I can’t imagine how devastating that must have been and the grief you feel.

This blog post was written to preserve the lives of living Christians. To get more insight into my viewpoint on this issue, you can read the following comment.  My prayer is that we all finish this race strong. God bless you all!

About the author 

Kimberly Taylor

Kimberly Taylor is a certified Christian life coach and has a heart to help others struggling with emotional eating and weight loss. Once 240 pounds and a size 22, she can testify of God’s goodness and healing power to overcome. She lost 85 pounds as a result of implementing techniques to overcome emotional eating and binge eating disorder.

Kim is the author of "The Take Back Your Temple Program," which teaches Christians how to take control of their weight God's way and the books "The Weight Loss Scriptures" and "The Weight Loss Prayers."

Kim has been featured in Prevention Magazine, Charisma Magazine and on CBN’s 'The 700 Club' television program.

  • I accepted Jesus into my heart at the age of five, and I was truly blessed to be raised in a Christian home. I’ve served in many Christian ministries during my life. I have not had diabetes, cancer, multiple sclerosis, but I do have major depressive disorder, dysthymia, and posttraumatic stress disorder. I’ve been suicidal more times than I can count and frequently self-harmed. Clinical depression is an illness that skews thought processes, and born-again Christians who take their own lives as a result of this illness wIll not suffer eternal separation from God. That is not in the nature of God, as the Bible makes clear.

  • Kimberly,

    Thank you so much for your obedience and faithfulness in sharing the Word throughTBYT. Your articles encourage me as I discipline myself to maintain my temple/stay healthy.

    I have struggled with depression and I have a daughter who has bipolar disorder, so your article about depression and suicide and the comments about it were a blessing to me. When I was tempted to commit suicide, my fear of God and not wanting to hurt my family kept me from taking that path. I could relate to all of the lies that we hear in our own voice and I loved your rebuttal of them.
    I am glad that God is the judge, not us, for believers who succumb to suicide. His justice is perfectly balanced with His mercy and only He can see a person’s heart.

    I have been praying for many years for more revelation to be given to the Body of Christ about mental illnesses. There is so much that we do not know about how the brain works. The human brain is God’s most complex and awesome creation I think. We need more knowledge about the organic basis of mental diseases as well as the emotional and spiritual facets of it. Sometimes our view as Christians is too simplistic. Three books that I have read that have been most helpful are: “Blue Genes” by Dr. Meier and “Grace for the Afflicted” and “Deadly Emotions”. As we gain understanding about depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, ADD etc… we are better equipped to minister to those who suffer.

    God bless and strenthen you !

  • At 13, attempted suicide, have been ENSNARED by depression, tried meds.

    The ONLY way out was increasing my understanding of the Word of God.
    Knowing what Jesus accomplished through His submission to beatings, stripes on His back, torture, death on the cross, and so importantly the Resurrection of Christ.

    What we all have been given through our acceptance and reception of salvation(sozo)in Christ Jesus.

    He gave me the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.

    I had to understand who He made me to be, my identity is in Him.

    I had to understand He gave Me power to overcome the enemy.

    He gave me armor to wear, a sword ( the Word of God ) to weild.

    He has given me everything I need to live victoriously in this life.

    We all are influenced by the God of this world( Satan, the devil, the enemy).

    The difference is: Those without Christ do not have EFFECTIVE tools to win.

    Those who have received Christ Do have effective tools to win, many are not taught what they are.

    Those of us in Christ can become so beaten down, overwhelmed that we need ONE thing. A FRIEND.

    That friend ( can also be a stranger) gets with you, looks at you and knows something isn’t right. No matter what kind of facade we are putting out there.
    They see through it.

    Moses couldn’t accomplish his task, because he was weary, two people came along side of him and lifted his arms, so he could finish.

    We can’t help those who have already made that choice, but those of us who remain can be watchful, keep our spiritual eyes and ears open to those in our sphere of influence, so that maybe we can be that REAL friend someone may need, even if we are the stranger.

    Yes. I am grateful to be alive. I choose life. Sue

    My hope is that those who took their own life, did call on the name of Jesus before they breathed their last breath. So that their destination is heaven.

    • Thank you for sharing, Sue. You chose life and that is so important because God made you for a reason! He loves all of us and, as you have so well said, some people froget that there is a God who loves them too much to allow them harm! My prayer is also that people who are so desperate and alone breathe the name of Jesus and allow Him to lift them higher to where He can love them for all eternity! God bless you and the many people we know nothing about who struggle with depression and aloneness. He is able!

  • I am commenting as a person who attempted suicide…after being a born-again Christian for over 40 years…Spirit filled for about 30 of those years…a year and a half ago. What I learned from my experience was that God was true to His Word…He never leaves us or forsakes us and wherever we go He is there…David wrote that if we go down to the darkest pit He is there. He was there while I cried and prayed as I was taking the pills. I asked for forgiveness even while I was doing it. I knew it wasn’t His perfect will for me. I also knew that I was at the end of my rope. I had been suicidal since I was 15. I am now 54. I have had an incredibly hard life. I know my Daddy loves me beyond a shadow of a doubt. His people…not so much. Anyway, I was praying, and Daddy said very clearly “I am here.” In those 3 words there was so much that was spoken. It was a sense of “I am in control; I am here for you; I am here to take care of it all….Don’t worry, I’ve got this!”
    The second thing that happened was that I gained an appreciation and understanding for my dad who committed suicide 33 years ago. I finally understood the depth of his despair, and there was a healing within me.
    Am I condoning suicide? Of course not. Do I think suicide is the unforgivable sin? I used to but I don’t any more. Scripture says that blaspheming the Holy Spirit is the only unforgivable sin, In my case, I was hospitalized and discovered that I was improperly diagnosed. I had deep clinical depression for many years, but found out that I am actually bi-polar. I am now properly medicated and for the first time in decades, am not plagued with suicidal thoughts. To damn anyone to hell for committing suicide is not only unscriptural, it is also not ours to judge. I am not God, nor is anyone else here on earth. I choose to leave the judgement of souls up to my Daddy where it belongs.

  • Thank you Kim for your Biblical perspective. As the days grow darker in our world, our light (Jesus) needs to shine even brighter.:) Keep speaking the truth!

  • I appreciate your blog. But how did you know whether or not Robin was saved before his last moments or not? Because the way I read it in the Bible it says if you accept Jesus as your savior, if you believe Jesus is the son of God you are saved, you will go to heaven.. It doesn’t say you have to confess it every day, or live sin free or confess it right before you die. We could not live free of sin. That’s why Jesus died on the cross for us, He was the only one who could live free of sin and passed every test. Not to sound offensive, correct me if I am wrong! I don’t believe anyone that commits suicide is in their right mind. And I haven’t found it in the Bible to say if you sin you lose your salvation and it does say sin is sin. I am not condoning suicide or approving of it, I am exactly the opposite. I think God put us all here for a reason and don’t believe ending our life prematurely is His purpose. But I think out of respect to Robins family and any other family that has lost a loved one to suicide you should make sure that, that is clear. I am not saying that I am all right. I just don’t see where it says that you can only keep your salvation if you don’t sin. And maybe I am percieving this wrong, maybe you was just meaning if a person hadn’t received Jesus as Lord ever. Thank you!

    • This post is meant to preserve the lives of living Christians. What has happened to professed Christians who have died has already happened. There is nothing we can do to change that, regardless of how we feel about this issue. There are strong beliefs about this on both sides. I respect them.

      What we need to do is to watch our own daily walk to ensure we don’t fall for Satan’s devices. And to encourage our living, fellow Christian brothers and sisters to hold on.

      Here’s my viewpoint: Let’s say a suicidal Christian will still go to heaven if he killed himself. However, if I had a friend who was suicidal and was committed to killing himself no matter what I said, there is no way I would bet the farm on the belief that he will still go to heaven by telling him, “Go ahead and kill yourself. Tell Jesus I said “hello” when you get there.” Because if I was wrong in affirming his act, then my friend would be lost forever and I would have his blood on my hands.

      However, if I told him that he would be separated from God if he killed himself and he did it anyway, then I would have caused no harm if I am wrong and he made it into heaven. Granted, I might have grieved over his eternal loss for nothing, but that would be on me. When I got to heaven and saw him, I would be happy to have been wrong. I would say, “Sorry about that buddy. I stand corrected.”

      If you know a professed Christian who has committed suicide, I understand your grief over his loss and the comfort you receive by the belief that you will see him again in heaven. I am not here to convince you otherwise. A wise saying goes: “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

      Even scholars debate the meaning of this scripture: “Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him (James 1:12).” I believe this means enduring even the temptation to kill yourself.

      By “crown of life,” some Bible scholars say that means the person who professed Jesus will still get to heaven, but only forfeit his crown of life, his reward. Others say that the crown of life is eternal life and the person forfeits that. I can only speak what I have chosen to live.

      I fear God (reverence, honor, and respect Him). Just as surely as I believe in God’s grace, I believe that same grace will empower me to LIVE through whatever challenges I face in life – no matter how difficult.

      I choose to endure to the end so that I can receive eternal life and a crown of life, whether they are the same or different. I don’t want to forfeit anything!

      Remember Satan’s mode of operation: “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly (John 10:10).”

      Satan even tried to get Jesus to kill Himself. He told Jesus that if he threw Himself off the pinnacle of the temple, the angels would catch Him.

      His mode of operation has not changed. To the professed Christian today, he may say, “Kill yourself. You’ll still go to heaven. Just go on home to be with the Lord.”

      But Jesus said to Satan, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God (Matthew 4:7).’”

      So to me, that means a Christian planning/attempting to kill Himself is tempting God, counting on God’s grace to cover Him in that act. I fear God. I would not tempt Him like that. Instead, I would do everything in my power to get help, to live.

      “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding (Proverbs 9:10).”

      In addition, I remember that my body does not belong to me. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says that our bodies belong to God. So my body is not my property to destroy.

      Friends, I love you all and am grateful for the discussion. I have made my beliefs clear and unless God shows me differently, they will not change. I have chosen to put my energy into preserving life. I want life in abundance and so I seek to live a life that glorifies God. Whatever anyone else chooses to believe is between them and God.

      “…I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days (Deuteronomy 30:19-20);”

      God bless you all!

  • Thank you for these words, something i truly needed. As at this time i feel truly lost and finding it hard to find the help i need.
    may God bless you with goodness because of the love you share.

  • I too have had a evil spirit of suicide over me. The week before Robin killed himself. I’ve never been so attacked with those thoughts, day after day. I prayed, I cried out, I read his word, I listened to praise music. On day five I called our assoc. pastor ( he too is a retired state police officer) he asked questions and I asked about our counseling at church. It’s been another long week of waiting, but tomorrow is my first appointment. The best thing to do is TALK to someone. After I got off the phone I talked to my husband. He had no idea I was struggling so. Just being honest was a huge weight lifted off me. I’ve been praying more and getting into scripture more often.
    Please pray for my healing.
    Thank you.

    • I am praying for you, Annie! I am glad that you are seeking some help. I agree that you need to bring those secret thoughts to the light by sharing them with a trusted counselor, friend, family member – whoever can speak love and truth into your life. You don’t have to go this alone and none of us should even try. In the meantime, take comfort in one of my favorite scriptures of all time:

      “The Lord your God in your midst,
      The Mighty One, will save;
      He will rejoice over you with gladness,
      He will quiet you with His love,
      He will rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17).”

      Can you imagine the Lord singing over you when you are feeling distressed – like a lullaby? I can. His singing voice must be incredible!

  • I fought the demons of depression for many years. I, too, felt the world would be better off without me and no one loved me. However, my mother had died when I was 12 and I knew I could not lay that pain on my three children, especially as a single mother. I knew God. Did I have a good relationship with Him?? Thankfully, I got cancer and gained a whole new perspective on life. God truly does work all things out for good!!

    • Wow, Linda – I am sorry you had to go through cancer. I know that must have been hard. Praise God you are still here and able to love on your children. Our families are worth fighting for and so is our faith.

  • Kimberly, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. As sad as Robin William’s death is, I think at least we are finally talking about depression.

    A different Debbie

  • Dear Kimberly: The great thing about you is that you are willing to share your struggles the good and the bad with all of us. We all have been prisoners of our thoughts. You help us remember that God is right there next to us, waiting for us to turn to him.

  • I don’t have time to read all you wrote, Kim. My heart is grieved over Robin Williams. So very sad. I was shocked to hear of his passing and how he died. Only God knows if he is saved. I don’t believe someone is saved who commits suicide. That would go against scripture hold out until the end. And thou shall not kill. My heart goes out to the family. They are in my prayers.

  • I am an over-comer of clinical depression. For many years I have fought this demon. I have also been a Christian since a child, and rededicated my life in my twenties. I have, like most people, had many trials & tribulations, ups and downs in my life. I pulled away from God for a while and walked down an un-virtuous path due to my straying. Though I loved God and knew better, satan was playing hard-ball with me and dangled the world in front of me pulling me into the dark. I never completely lost sight of myself in the light I was meant to remain in, but the divide became further away. With relationship issues, including an unwanted divorce at the time, from a cheating husband and a less than stellar existence, I still wanted that picket-fence, rocking chair on the front porch and a companion to live my life through until God called me home. These things have never happened, including a second cheating husband and subsequent divorce. With many health issues, job losses, all the failings in what the world called successful, my heart was broken, my spirit shattered with an abused psyche that could hardly hold on further. However, God was good as always and slowly helped pull me back unto him. I never thought of myself as a prideful person, but again, the world sets you up for this downfall too. It was so hard to ask for help in any area…without resources, support, food and most of the necessities of life, I lost everything. Embarrassment gave way to asking and getting help – first one on one with God, then with Christian ministries of counseling, getting back into God’s word in a more personal way, and again, rededicating my life as I truly claimed Jesus Christ as my personal saviour. It is a personal struggle I live with continually, and by knowing the signs in my own spirit and psyche, I fight it with God’s help. I claim scriptures and know he is with me. Prayer and Jesus lifts me up and helps me get through it. Lastly, I know it is a sin to take ones own life and that is not God’s plan for anyone. I trust him to not only get me through those low times, but to support me with a way through them to have victory on the other side. He is my rock and my salvation…he will never leave me. Regardless of whatever goes on in this world, I know he is the answer.

    • Amen Rhonda – my heart goes out to you in your struggle. I have to keep myself in the WORD myself because life can be so hard at times. Psalm 24 is such a great comfort to me, especially the part about “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.” It is great that Psalm, the book of all comfort follows Job in the Bible – the book of someone who dealt with incredible suffering.

      During particular tough times, I have to say, “You are just passing through, Kim. Your home is on the other side.” I pray the God of peace and all comfort be with you. You are right – He is the answer. I am so glad our God doesn’t mind when we are “clingy.” I want to cling to him with all my might. I tell myself that even if I have to drag myself across the finish line, I am going to make it. You will too Rhonda. It’s going to be great to show off each other’s crowns of life! Love, you Sister!

  • Kimberly,
    In an odd twist of God’s work, I shared Robin’s feelings on Sunday and tried to commit suicide. I stopped and made some calls and finally reached a friend from church who, courageously, got one of our elders involved. The elder just happens to be a police officer.

    Now mind you, I was still depressed, but was past the point of suicide by the time the officers arrived at my house. I was actually in pretty good spirits and we had a great chat. The officer who was in charge finally asked me what I thought about talking to someone. Long story short, I was put on a 48 hour hold.

    I spent the first morning there looking for a Bible. (BTW always look in the drawer next to the bed. Those Gideons. LOL) I didn’t have a plan for reading so I just opened up the Bible and read whatever was on the page. Eccl 3 was first. For everything there is a season….

    I prayed for God to make something good out of this stupid, STUPID act of mine. Why was I here? I prayed that He would allow me to witness while I was there.

    I once again returned to my Bible and read several other passages that were helpful. I carried my Bible everywhere I went. (It’s the only thing they let me have)

    The second morning I was told I would be let out. I was feeling really good. I went to the front area to await my discharge papers and read thru Psalm 104. When I had finished, I again prayed that God would allow me the opportunity to witness but time was running out.

    Finally about noon, I was reading Romans and a young gal came up to me and said, “My mom gave me a book that I think it a devotional. Will you look at it?” I did, it was, and she and I and my roommate all sat and I was able to give testimony as to God’s faithfulness. We talked for about 45 minutes before we were interrupted. It was God showing me that waiting for His timing is paramount.

    Well, I hurt a lot of my friends. I never imagined how they would respond. One is so angry with me. I have cried at my disregard for them. But last night, that friend prayed for me in front of the congregation while in tears. She didn’t mention me by name, but the prayer was asking God to guard me from those dark places. I felt a “something” come over me while she was praying.

    Later, she texted me that her mother was going to the ER. (The friend had ended our friendship prior) I was broken. How could I have separated our friendship so bad that I cannot be there for her now? I prayed. I texted a prayer to her for her mom and family, pleading with God to work.

    I called a brother and he and I talked for a long time. Afterward, I fell to my knees. I asked God to keep Satan far from me as I don’t have the strength to combat him right now. I prayed that the mother would be healed.

    This morning I woke up with a new lease on life. My problems are still there, but I have hope. In my darkness last night, I could not even make myself think of hurting myself. I am a new creation thru Christ and of God.

    I can’t speak for others, but this was the worst and the best thing to have ever happened to me.

    Thank you, Kimberly for allowing us to hear from you. I am sorry this wound up to be so long. I can only hope my experience strikes a chord with someone.

    Take Care, and May God Bless you this and everyday.


    • Wow, William – your message brought tears to my eyes. I am SO thankful you did not succeed. You found out that there are people who love and care about you. You found out that you can still make a difference in their lives. I know your story will strengthen and encourage others. I don’t care about the length! All I care about is no more of our precious Christian brothers and sisters are lost to the enemy’s deceptions. God bless you for your transparency. Great will your reward be!

  • I have to wait until later to take the time to read this but just wanted to say thank you to Kim for all you do as well as your honesty!

  • I have to disagree with you that suicide eternally separates people from God. I have no idea if Robin Williams had a relationship with Christ, yet I pray that he did. Thankfully, I have known suicide victims who did have a relationship with Christ. However, due to a mental illness that overtook their ability to think rationally, they committed suicide. I am grateful that Jesus Christ was their Savior before their death and because I believe His Word, I believe He is still their Savior!

    I am so grateful that my salvation is not based on what I do. Instead, my salvation is based on what Jesus Christ did for me! And as a child of God who struggles with depression/mental illness, my continual prayer is that I will hold fast to the Word of God and His principles as well as reach out to family and friends when the darkness of depression seems too much to bear!

    • Thank you for your post, Tina! Because I have been vulnerable to depression myself, I am watching my own walk with the Lord, holding fast to the scripture: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).” It is a daily walk to ensure my foundation is built on the Word of God. Last night, my pastor preached on the fact that to remain stable in your faith, your foundation must be on the finished work on Jesus and the Word of God. If any one of those is missing, you will be unstable.
      I am very sorry that suicide has touched you personally. I can’t imagine how painful that must have been.

    • I too, think only God knows a person’s heart and their relationship. I don’t know exactly but I know depression is an illness and a person can love God and still sin–all sin being equal.

  • This is awesome information Kim! People don’t realize the benefits of a relationship with Jesus and the damage suicide has on their eternal life and those around me. Such needless pain! A active relationhip with Jesus is so important and awesome! Doesn’t cost a thing….other than your time! Can this be shared on FB?

  • “A person who commits suicide exchanges one form of pain for another, bigger pain. The bigger pain is eternal separation from God, the one who created you and loves you best.”
    There is so much good solid truth in everything you said. I question the above statement, however, and you are certainly not alone in believing this. I have seen people who are in so much pain crying out to God and saying, “I’m coming home.” Just like the prodigal son made a decision and went home. I believe those with mental illness could make bad choices because of their illness and not because of their will. We all sin daily and don’t necessarily confess it immediately. If we were to be in an accident and die without confessing our last sins, would we be sentenced to eternity without God? Taking a life is not a greater sin than any other. Yes, I do believe the enemy will do whatever he can to keep us from God, but I don’t know that every suicide prevents one from spending eternity with God.

    • Hi Renee – I appreciate your thoughts. See my response to Julie about the thief on the cross. That is the exception to eternal separation. Regarding your example about the prodigal Son. Don’t forget that he was a Son. He belonged to the Father and was coming back to take His rightful place as an heir (see Luke 15:11-32). Scripture says that He came to Himself, so that means he remembered his identity and where he belonged – in the place where the father had for him from the start. Romans 8:14 says, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.”

      I think of Jesus being led by the Spirit of God into the wilderness. The devil tempted him there. One of those temptations was suicide, remember?

      “Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, ‘If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you,’ and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”

      Satan actually tried to use the Word of God to get Jesus to kill Himself. But “‘Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.'” And He successfully resisted the temptation to take His own life.

      Finally, you asked: “If we were to be in an accident and die without confessing our last sins, would we be sentenced to eternity without God?” No, I don’t believe that would be the case for someone who believed in their heart and confessed Jesus as their Savior.

      In the case of Jesus’ suicide temptation, He could have said, “You know Satan, you are right. This road is going to be too hard. I’ll go ahead and throw myself off this building. If my Father wants me to stay, He’ll send angels to catch me. If not, I’ll just go on home.” But He didn’t do that.

  • I can tell you how melancholy I got after seeing he died by his own hand. I only battled depression with having postpartum with all three of my children. Yes suicidal thoughts arose only because I was so sick from constant panic attacks. What happens with people like Robin Williams, early drug use comes back to haunt the brain. Many people can’t handle instant fame even though he used his fame to benefit so many others. It sounded like he started using drugs again maybe he thought he wouldn’t be able to overcome his drug habit thus like Kurt Cobain took his life. Drug use was probably the number one factor in his depression. Guilt which is also a self infliction from his usage. He probably rationalized if I die I can stop the addiction. His show was cancelled, he was on his third marriage, who knows why such a giving person couldn’t see another way out. Or believe in the help he was receiving. As a Christian, I was taught that if you take your own life you don’t go to heaven. I so hope this is not true for a man like Robin. In my mind, even though he was Jewish, that he exemplified Jesus’ teachings in giving so much of his love, time, money, and life too so many people. God have Mercy on his soul. We will miss Robin!

    • Hi Lisa – undoubtedly alcohol and drug abuse played a role in Robin’s suicide. With alcohol, they don’t call it “spirits” for nothing! As I said to Julie, I sincerely hope in his last moments, Robin repented and accepted Jesus as His Savior at the last, like one of the thieves on the cross with Him. Only God knows. I only know of Robin what I saw on television and in the movies. But what I saw, I liked. He was a great talent and he will be missed.

  • Thank you so much for this. I especially can relate to having suicidal thoughts when I was young, but glad to be alive now. I am having trouble with one thing, maybe you can help. I think a person who commits suicide is mentally unstable. I find it hard to believe God would deny heaven to a mentally ill person. Your thoughts?

    • Hi Debbie – I appreciate your comments. Whenever I am confused about the thoughts of God, I go back to the Word of God. I empathize with the mentally ill – in fact, I have two mentally ill family members. I pray to God every day for Him to give them a lucid moment, bring salvation to them, and heal their minds. I haven’t seen that yet, but I remain hopeful. The word says in Romans 1:20, “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,”

      So the scripture says that God’s invisible attributes are clearly seen and that they are understood by the things that are made. Each person is a created being. So although I may not know how, I trust God’s word that even my mentally ill family members know that there is a God – but choose not to turn to Him. It would break my heart if they passed away without knowing Him. That is why I do what I can to show kindness and the love of God to them since scripture says that others know we are his disciples by our love, not by how many Christian songs we know, Bible verses we can quote, or the big, giant cross around our necks. I am believing my prayers and the love of God will avail much.

      • Good morning Kimberly,
        I read and reread your response to Debbie and I’m left feeling some type of way on this. I’ve worked with people with mental problems and because of their state of mind, they know that there is a God, believe in God, but just couldn’t seem to put it all together. If and I say this cautiously because I don’t know all of the facts. If Robin Williams wasn’t taking meds and taking the RIGHT meds for his depression and not seeking counseling then he very well may not have had the understanding to put it all together. I believe in prayer and intercessory prayer so I believe that with the mentally ill we as Christians need to pray as intercessors just in case.

        • I agree that intercessory prayer avails much, Erika! And having been a nurse myself, I certainly agree that medication is needed in some cases and would never discourage anyone from taking it.

      • I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this comment thread, and Kim your responses are Biblical, wise, and thoughtful, thank you, and lord bless you. To Him who is able to abundantly more than we can think or ask, the all powerful wise God, be all Honor, Glory and Praise

  • This is a great reminder to turn to The Lord for any/all problems in life.

    One point I would like to respectfully call you on is the assumption that he is eternally separated from God. We know no persons heart–we can’t assume whether his name is or isn’t written in the Book of Life. And if you make that assumption based on the fact that he committed suicide, please consider the fact that he DID murder….himself! BUT we can find many stories of our Bible where murder was committed, yet they trusted God/Christ at some point. I am no expert in this theology, so if there is some reference I am missing, I would love to hear it.

    • Hi Julie – Thanks for your comments. I cannot know 100% if Robin Williams is eternally separated from God because I wasn’t there in his last moments. Perhaps he was like the thief who was hanging on the cross with Jesus: “But the other, answering, rebuked him, saying, “Do you not even fear God, seeing you are under the same condemnation? And we indeed justly, for we receive the due reward of our deeds; but this Man has done nothing wrong.” Then he said to Jesus, “Lord, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.’ And Jesus said to him, “Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise (Luke 23:40-43).”

      Truly Julie, I hope Robin Williams did have a lucid moment and was saved in his last moments. But in the example you gave about murder being committed, for example with King David having a hand in Bathsheba’s husband being killed, David repented over what he did. So that brought restoration in his relationship with God.

      • Great article Kim, but one thing I would question you on is when one committs suicide they are separated from God for eternity….our eternal state is not based on the last sin that we committ before we die….however way we die….we live in the day of grace and our sins were forgiven at the cross, and I believe that a believer who committs suicide does go to heaven…it says that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. Its very sad if a christian does does die in this way but it’s not for us to judge them. My husband died by suicide and we have been through this whole issue of whether he is in heaven….he was a believer and we believe that he was.

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