A few years ago, I was cleaning out the guest bedroom closet, and found one of my journals from 2002. As I read the entries, it took me to the dark place I was in back then. This journal entry was profound! I am sharing this secret message with you. See if you can relate to these feelings.
1/8/2002
Last night before bed, I had a radical thought: “God is using this experience to draw me to Himself.” Now it is true that God does not want us to have any type of stronghold in our lives, but Him. But now that I have allowed food to become mine, He is using it as an opportunity to teach me to draw near to Him at the first sign of trouble. This is contrary to everything I formerly believed. See, I thought God wanted to show us the way, we learn it and grow up, and then He releases us to walk. He watches, but from a distance.
Now I’m realizing that is wrong. He never wants us to walk independent of Him. He is not like a human parent who raises you, then releases you to walk on your own. He wants us to cling to Him.
That was a hard term for me to accept, "cling." Because I thought, “I wouldn’t want anybody clinging to me (okay, kids are fine).” But God wants us to. He wants to be everything to us, as essential as food and drink. Like David said in the Psalm, "I cried out to Him and my voice entered His ears." David continues to write about how God moved heaven and earth to get to him to deliver him.
I felt that way when I asked for help.
I also realized that last night that I will be delivered from this eating disorder to the degree that I am willing to put aside my pride and independence and ask the Lord for help. He doesn’t expect me to do it alone. And I couldn’t do it alone because I’ve tried several times and it hasn’t worked.
This is a Spiritual battle for me. It is training to teach me where my strength lies so that when darker days come, I will know where to turn to renew my strength and be able to stand against the forces of darkness.
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I authored the Take Back Your Temple program for those who could relate to my story.
I knew a solution was needed for someone like me, for whom the excess weight was not just about the diet or exercise program.
For me, my weight issue stemmed from a Spiritual and emotional issue.
Was this healing journey always easy? No.
However, I discovered how to get that abundant life that Jesus promised in John 10:10. It's all about getting to know God through a deeper way, yes even through a weight loss journey!
An old African proverb says, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
Let's go farther - together.
Note: If you missed my journal entry from Part 1, here is the link to the Secret Message from my Past post.