Christian Marriage Counseling: 4 Word Secret

I once heard a Christian psychologist on the radio who said that she could give you the secret of a happy marriage in 4 words:

1. Choose wisely
2. Treat kindly

These words echoed in my mind as I watched the movie “Fireproof” last Saturday night at the church I attend.

In case you haven’t heard of it, it is a movie about a young fireman who is on the verge of divorce.

At the beginning of the movie, the wife was unhappy because she wasn’t getting enough love from her husband. The husband was unhappy because he wasn’t getting enough respect from his wife.

Because they were both so focused on their own hurt, anger, and disappointment, they violated the second rule: neither of them were treating the other kindly.

I recently read a statistic that said the divorce rate is higher among Christians than among even non-believers.

You wouldn’t think this was so since we serve a God who is Love itself. 

Having an unhappy marriage impacts every aspect of your life, including your health.

If you are unhappy, frustrated, angry, and depressed, you are more likely to neglect your health or even practice destructive health habits such as emotional overeating.

In the movie, the constant theme was the fireman’s motto, which is “Never Leave your Partner Behind.”

After seeing the movie and reading the statistic about divorce among Christians, I was troubled and decided to see if there might be a marriage resource that could help those who marriages were in danger of burning down.

And I found it. I highly recommend ”Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs.

Remember the 4-word formula for a happy marriage. Start thinking of ways you can treat your mate kindly each day.

In fact, why don’t you start praying for them every day? That is the kindest thing that you can do.

Pray for their walk with the Lord to be strengthened, for wisdom to make wise choices, for strength to handle temptation, for their health to flourish, and for their protection and provision.

Above all, pray that God change you to help you become the partner they need so that they can become all God wants them to be.

I pray that you have many years of love and renewed passion with your spouse!

Be blessed with health, healing, and wholeness,

Kimberly Taylor

Creator of the Take Back Your Temple program

P.S. When it comes to weight loss, do you often know what you should do but have a hard time doing it?

I struggled with this issue on my own weight loss journey, but I discovered that “Nothing is different until you think differently.” – Pastor James MacDonald

The value of the Take Back Your Temple program is that you will learn how to think differently through using Biblical keys to overcome obstacles. You’ll discover how to win the Spiritual and mental battle that often causes us to become inconsistent and get off-track on our weight loss journey.

Join a community of like-minded Christians losing weight and keep it off.

Click here to learn more about the Take Back Your Temple program

About the author 

Kimberly Taylor

Kimberly Taylor is a certified Christian life coach and has a heart to help others struggling with emotional eating and weight loss. Once 240 pounds and a size 22, she can testify of God’s goodness and healing power to overcome. She lost 85 pounds as a result of implementing techniques to overcome emotional eating and binge eating disorder.

Kim is the author of "The Take Back Your Temple Program," which teaches Christians how to take control of their weight God's way and the books "The Weight Loss Scriptures" and "The Weight Loss Prayers."

Kim has been featured in Prevention Magazine, Charisma Magazine and on CBN’s 'The 700 Club' television program.

  • I wish you had related the “Chose Wisely”, “Treat Kindly” to health more. How could you apply this more to your health? Would my dissatisfaction with life in general (ex. pain, depression, insomnia, emotional eating, anger, etc) cause me NOT to chose wise responses or treat my body kindly? Just wondering.

    Lisa P.

    • Hi Lisa – you asked about dissatisfaction with life in general cause you to not make wise choices or treat your body kindly. Absolutely! Do me a favor – in the morning after you read this (or whenever you have a block of time in the morning), get some pieces of paper and a pen. Write all about your dissatisfaction in your life as a letter to God. Tell him all about it – he knows it anyway. Don’t do this on a computer – write it in longhand. Keep writing until you can’t write anymore. Write about anything that is on your heart.

      Once you have written down everything, then I’d advise you to pray. I am assuming that you no longer want to experience pain, depression, insomnia, emotional eating, anger. Is that right? God promises that if you ask him for wisdom, he will give it to you liberally and without reproach (James 1:5). Ask God to tell you specifically what you need to do to make wiser choices and to treat your body kindly. Get quiet and listen to the answer – you’ll get get one. Write it down and then OBEY what the instruction. You will be blessed for that.

      Finally, for the next week – I’d advise each day to look for 7 things to be grateful for. It doesn’t matter if it is small or large. Just write them down. I guarantee living with a more grateful heart will help with the depression in particular. God bless you!

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