Overcoming Food Addiction and Losing Weight with God’s Help

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Transcript

- [Dr. Pamela Thompson]: Okay, well, good afternoon my sister Kim. Welcome to the show. I am Dr. Pamela Thompson, and I am a psychologist who is also a Christian. And I have many hats that I wear. One is psychologist, one is life coach, one is author, one is speaker, but the one that I'm proudest of really is just to be a disciple of Christ.

And so that's the whole purpose of my podcast show because today I'm the host of my show "Intentionally Free" where I am talking to compelling individuals about their respective journeys, and how they got free from whatever it was that they were in bondage to.

And it is my sincere hope that the listening audience will find something here today, will glean something from our conversation that can be applied to your own life, and you can be free as well, intentionally free with a made up mind.

- [Kimberly Taylor] Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] And so today I have Mrs. Kim Taylor on the line with me, and I'm really excited to have her in particular because I know her from my Sunday School class, and we've been walking with the Lord. I know her to be a person that is dripping with wisdom, and who is well-studied, and who loves the Lord, and has a very humble spirit, and a servant's heart. And she's a fantastic writer, by the way. 

So, today, she is going to be sharing some things about her journey through weight loss. I've heard her reference that a couple of times as her personal testimony, but I never have really heard the whole story of how she used that, and launched it into a business/ministry of sorts. And that's what she's going to be informing us about today. So I'm going to be learning along with the audience today.

So, Kim, first of all, welcome to the show today. Thank you so much for taking the time to share with us what I know the Lord has put on your heart, and what you are living out.

- [Kim] Thank you.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah, thank you. So, Kim, what is the name, and the purpose of your business/ministry that's aimed at healthy weight management?

- [Kim] Well, actually, the name is Take Back Your Temple. And the Lord gave me that name many years ago after my own successful weight loss journey of losing 85 pounds. And back at that time I was in bondage to emotional eating, and food addiction, but the Lord through his wisdom and his kindness showed me a better way that helped me to manage my emotions. 

So after I got free from that and lost the excess weight then he gave me the name Take Back Your Temple. And after that I created my own takebackyourtemple.ue1.rapydapps.cloud website. At first I thought Take Back Your Temple was like a clarion call to Christians to take back control of their life and of their health, but what God really showed me is that Take Back Your Temple is actually a prayer. 

And it's a prayer to God because most of us know the Scripture in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, which says: 

"Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, whom you have from God? And you are not your own for you are bought at a price, therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's."

So the name Take Back Your Temple is actually a prayer to God for Him to take back control of His temple. And so we take care of our bodies in recognition that our bodies are important not because of how they look, but whom they contain.

- [Dr. Pam] Ooh, yes.

- [Kim] And so, yes, yes, yes. So it's a totally different perspective, and it's showing honor and respect to God, and thanksgiving in taking care of our bodies, and just thanksgiving for this gift that he has given us, this home that he given us to occupy, while we are here on this earth.

So that really is how Take Back Your Temple started. And I actually started Take Back Your Temple back in 2006 because I felt led to help other people who are struggling in the weight loss arena, but from a different perspective as I said, and not about condemnation, but about restoration.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow, Kim, oh, I love that. I absolutely love that part about thanksgiving. That we're honoring this body because this is the most important thing that we own here on earth because we live here and God lives here.

- [Kim] That's right.

- [Dr. Pam] So it couldn't be more valuable to us. And it couldn't be more worthwhile to take care of it properly. So I love the way you phrased that. And how long has Take Back Your Temple been in existence?

- [Kim] It started in 2006, and, Dr. Pam, what was so interesting about it when I started out blogging at takebackyourtemple.ue1.rapydapps.cloud I thought, well, I'm just going to go ahead, and just write about what I'm learning on the journey because I had been on it for maybe a year, year and a half, or so, and I said, I'm just going to go ahead, and write about what I'm learning on my journey.

And as I wrote it started out just being focused on eating, and exercise, but I knew that I would not have been successful on my journey without the Lord. So I felt led to start writing about how I used Biblical Scriptures, and principles to take care of myself.

At first I was really nervous about it because I thought, well, people are going to think I'm a religious nut writing about God, and I didn't see a whole lot of that out on the Internet in the weight loss arena.

- [Dr. Pam] Right.

- [Kim] But I said, you know what, I'm going to go ahead and do this because I cannot ignore that it was the Lord working in me that made me successful. It wasn't about willpower, but it was about God's power, and his work within me.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow.

- [Kim] So that's really how Take Back Your Temple started.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah, and that's a key phrase that it's not about willpower, but about God's power taking control like the Scripture that says take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. Like you allow him to come in and have his way, and in so doing you became empowered to do something that you had probably tried to do before, and had not had great success.

- [Kim} Oh, girl, I could tell you the whole story about that one because I was a Registered Nurse so I knew about--

- [Dr. Pam] I didn't know that.

- [Kim] I knew about eating healthy, but I could not make myself do the thing that I knew I should be doing, but I would try and go on a diet for a little while, and I might lose weight, but then I'd go back to my same old pattern, and gain it all back plus more on top of that. And I'm sure many of your listeners can relate to that story.

- [Dr. Pam] Oh, absolutely, absolutely. I never knew that until this very second that you were a Registered Nurse. That was your past life, huh?

- [Kim] Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] And so it enriches your testimony, I think, that much more to know that in that season you had the intellectual knowledge of what to do, and yet there was something blocking your ability to actually apply that knowledge, so that you could be set free permanently from food addiction.

- [Kim] Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] So, Kim, if you could, tell us a little bit about your background that in retrospect you believe contributed to obesity in your past including any emotional hunger that you became aware of later in life that was really a part of the roadblock?

- [Kim] Yes, Dr. Pam, that's an excellent question. Actually, as I mentioned I was a Registered Nurse, and I knew about like you said the intellectual aspect of it, but within I had a lot of stress that I was carrying from the job, and I know that people who are in the healthcare arena know about that stress, and sometimes it's hard to leave that at the hospital, or the nursing home, or home health agency, or whatever it is that your area of practice is.

Sometimes you have that tendency to bring that stuff home with you, and it feels like this heavy burden. And I used to always tell myself that I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and I felt that way.

And eventually feeling that way emotionally started manifesting itself on the outside. So I had stress that I wasn't dealing with very well, and then I would also go through periods of depression, and suffer from anxiety.

What I discovered very early on, actually, when I was a little kid, was I discovered that eating sweets in particular, it was all food, but in particular sweets would make me feel better. So that was really my coping mechanism for my emotions.

There was a time when I would come home from work, and I would have like a Pepperidge Farm coconut cake in my freezer, or refrigerator rather, and I would just tell myself, okay, Kim, I'm just going to have a couple of pieces, and then I'll put it away, but it would be like the cake would talk to me. It would say, Kim, come eat me, come eat me.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes.

- [Kim] And eventually I got so tired of hearing that voice that I would take the entire cake out of my refrigerator, and sit down with a knife and a fork, and just use that entire cake as my slice.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow.

- [Kim] And just eat all of it.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow, well, how--

- [Kim] And then after, go ahead, I'm sorry, Pam.

- [Dr. Pam] Let me just interject. And how would you feel afterwards after you'd eaten the whole cake?

- [Kim] Oh, my goodness, I would feel such condemnation. I would feel shame, I would feel guilt, and a bit of disgust, actually, because I would be like how in the world could you do this? You know better. Why are you out of control? And that's the way I felt. And it was that big condemnation.

I'll tell you, Dr. Pam, the way I felt like it was like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football. I don't know if your listeners are familiar with that, or you're familiar with that.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes, yes.

- [Kim] But you know how Lucy used to always tell Charlie Brown I'm going to hold the football for you, and then you can go kick it. And then he would run back, and then try to kick the ball, and she'd pull it out at the last minute, and he'd end up on the ground all bruised and battered.

Well, that is the relationship I had with the enemy in that respect is that it would be like he would tempt me in my weakness and I'd go for it, and then after I went for it then the  shame.

- [Dr. Pam] Oh, my goodness, yeah.

- [Kim] And I was in that cycle for years and years.

- [Dr. Pam] Uh-huh.

- [Kim] But one day, and I will tell you I started having issues with my blood pressure, and one day I had a chest pain that I thought was going to kill me.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow.

- [Kim] And in that moment God spoke to me, and he said it is not supposed to be this way, but it wasn't a condemning voice. It wasn't like the voice that I heard where I was condemning myself, but God's voice was a loving voice. It was a caring voice, and he said it's not supposed to be this way. And I was just holding my heart because with that chest pain I honestly thought I was going to die.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow.

- [Kim] When I got the courage to sit down and move then I made a decision within myself to say, okay, God, I need you to show me the way it's supposed to be.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] And so that's when I decided to start listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit to lead me step by step, and choice by choice on learning how to manage my emotions God's way, and for food to maintain its proper place in my life. So that was really my story.

And so what I learned on that journey, and what I share through Take Back Your Temple is that this journey is about so much more than the food. In fact, I think a lot of people are trained through the diet mentality to just try to make their weight loss into a temporary project, which is what I did for over 20 some odd years.

My journey, before God spoke to me on my journey, I would make it into a temporary project. And my mindset was I'm going to eat this certain way like the diet told me to, and then I'll lose the weight, and then once I lose the weight then I can go back to doing what I did before like something would magically change. Well, it never did. 

So I had to learn that I had to view my weight loss in the context of how I chose to live my entire life. That is really when I came up when God revealed to me about my body being a temple, and learning how to take care of it, and create a healing environment within myself. 

And then learn self-control because what I learned to recognize even on the journey was that the sugar was hijacking my brain, which is what I called it because we know that the fruit of God's spirit according to the Book of Galatians 5:25 it says the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Well, what I came to learn about sugar with my unique body chemistry is that it was removing my ability to be self-controlled because it acts on certain neurochemicals in your brain. And so it's like a drug that it activates the same pathway that drugs like heroin and cocaine.

I discovered that in my research, and it's really shocking when you think about it, but I had to learn to choose foods that helped me and not hurt me.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes.

- [Kim] So that was really a big part of that journey. It wasn't an intellectual exercise. It was a spiritual battle that I recognized that I was in, but God in his great mercy helped me to maintain the victory, and obtain the victory. And so I want to help other people do the same.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah, Kim, wow, you have said so much there. My brain is just alive with so much that you just stimulated there. I heard you say so many things. One, everybody, I hope you can hear the passion in Kim's voice. I hope you can hear her own conviction, and her desire to share her story, and how she got free.

Secondly, I heard you say that you would formally listen to the voice of a diet, as opposed to listen to the voice of God. So you'd be listening to a set of rules so to speak, which is how a lot of Christians approach God in the first place, or how they approach Christianity is they think, oh, it's just a bunch of rules, do this, don't do that.

And nobody in that mindset ever really reaches the joy of the Lord, and really reaches the sense of release, and peace that you get from knowing him. A peace that surpasses all understanding if you are just trying to follow a bunch of rules.

And so I hear you breaking out of that relative to the rules of any given diet, and you entered more so into a state of submission, and surrender where I'm actually going to listen to your voice, and not the condemning voices in my head, and not the voices of ABC diet, but I'm going to listen to your voice, God, because your voice is a voice of permanent deliverance.

- [Kim] Amen.

- [Dr. Pam] Your voice is a voice of satisfaction and completion. And I also heard you say that that voice was not condemning of you in any way. And I often say as I have run many groups over the years on emotional eating I often say that we have to start with first of all loving these bodies that we're in, and just as an extension of our earlier conversation about this attitude of thanksgiving it's just this idea that I'm just going to love on, and thank you for this body because this body regardless of whatever the scale is saying it is still able to give hugs.

It is still able to visit the sick. It is still able to prepare meals for your family, or for a homeless shelter, or what have you. It is still able to raise up hands in praise of God. It is still able to shed tears to join in a state of mourning with someone who is sorrowful.

Like this body is doing a lot that is far beyond what the number on the scale says just where you are right now, regardless of your size this body is doing a lot. And so we want to cherish that, and just treat this body as sacred, and be respectful of this body by not condemning it with our words, and just this attitude of defeat.

So I heard so much there in what you just said, and I would also add as a nurse, God, it's hard to imagine a job more stressful where you are caretaking physically and emotionally for patients who are not always very thankful, and appreciative because they're not feeling good.

And I certainly know as a psychologist I often say I could not do my job as a psychologist if I didn't work out. Like I am incapable of not working out in this profession because I have to do something to get that weightiness off of me, and to clear my mind and my heart so that I can remain fresh and alive for my clients. 

So we know that this movement of this body is not just about burning some calories, but that it adds to our mental and spiritual clarity. And I heard you saying all of that.

- [Kim] Amen, Amen, sister.

- [Dr. Pam] So, Kim, yeah, Amen. So let me ask you this, Kim, how long into this realization that you were having did you begin to think you know what, I may need to get out of nursing? I mean, was getting out of nursing related to the fact that you came to terms with the fact that it was too taxing on you emotionally?

- [Kim] Yes, actually, what's interesting about that, Pam, is, yes, I started having depressive episodes to the point where there was one day I actually had transitioned from hospital nursing to home health nursing because it just got to be so overwhelming to me.

And there actually came a day even with that when I would see elderly people, and seeing some family members not treating them right, and stuff and it was just like, Lord, I feel so helpless in this, and I wonder if anything that I'm doing is making any difference.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow.

- [Kim] And there really came a day when I got into the shower I had to go to work, and I got into the shower, and I just started crying, and I could not stop.

I called my supervisor at that time, and I guess she heard something in my voice, and she said, "I think you need to get you some help." And so at that time I sought a Christian counselor, and spoke to the counselor about what was going on in my life, and I finally had to admit, you know what, even though I was great at my job, I got applause, not applause really, but recognition for it.

- [Dr. Pam} Right, right.

- [Kim] But I recognized that it wasn't what God had called me to do. My season was up.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] At that time. So I had to recognize that. So I had actually already made that decision. I was kind of when I decided to start my weight loss journey I actually had transitioned out of nursing, and I still had my nursing license at that time, though, but I was working for a medical software company. And that to me was a better fit for me at that time.

But what really changed was I went to a Christian women's conference, and at that Christian women's conference, because up until that time I had a casual relationship with God where I would bring God out on Sunday when I went to church, but Monday through Saturday I put him back on the shelf, and I lived any kind of way that I wanted to, but at this Christian women's conference I came to know the love of God there.

And so when I came to know the love of God then that was when I wanted to start studying God's word, and learning more about God's word. So when I got on that journey and said you know what, I want to see what my father's book says about how I'm supposed to live.

Then it was really after that, that experience that I had the chest pain, and decided that I was going to change my life. So I had already made that transition out of direct patient care type of nursing, but it was really at that Christian women's conference that really just upended my world because I always tell a joke to myself, and say, God, you set me up.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah, right.

- [Kim] In a good way.

- [Dr. Pam] Right, right.

- [Kim] Because I felt like up until that time I was a child of a single mother, so I didn't know the love of a father. I did not grow up with my father at all, and I didn't realize it until then when I came to know the love of God how much anger I harbored against my earthly father for what I saw as his abandonment.

In a way I kind of saw God in that same manner before I came to know his love, I saw God as waiting to condemn me with a Bible in one hand, and a lightning bolt in the other.

- [Dr. Pam] Oh, yeah.

- [Kim] And so that kind of created some distance between me and God.

- [Dr. Pam] Right.

- [Kim] But once I saw his love and felt his love at that Christian women's conference then I thought to myself you know what, I can trust God with my emotions. I can trust him with anything that is going on in my life, and I know that he created me on purpose and for a purpose. He created me fearfully, and wonderfully.

So I'm going to walk out this weight loss journey with him. I'm going to listen for his voice. I'm going to follow it, and I'm going to know him more and more in the process. And even though I've reached my ideal weight now at this particular moment (I lost 85 pounds), and I'm currently on a journey because I decided really about six weeks ago maybe I said you know what, I want to go the rest of the way. And my goal now is to get it to an even 100. So I'm very close in that, but God is with me all the way. 

And I realize that no matter what size I am, he loves me the same. That he loved me just as much at a size 28 as he does at a size eight. So it really is an amazing, amazing journey.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] And I wish anyone whose in bondage through emotional eating and food addiction would take God at his word, and walk this journey out with him. I'm not saying it's always easy, but I am saying that it's worth it.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes, and I think that's an excellent point, and I've heard you, Kim, just so very humorously share with us about how even to this day you will not, cannot walk down the aisle where they sell that lemon Pepperidge Farm cake that was your go-to.

- [Kim] Yeah.

- [Dr. Pam] And I bring that up because you say it's not easy, but these are the steps that are necessary to stay on the straight and narrow is to avoid temptation. Don't invite temptation into your life that makes it harder, and to just develop new routines, and new rituals that discipline your eyes, and discipline your taste buds around, around not going too far in the direction of those things that you know could start a whole downward spiral for you.

- [Kim] Yes, Pam, I mean, yeah, I was going to say the way that I think about it is I think to myself: Why make life any harder than it has to be?

- [Dr. Pam]  Right.

- [Kim] Because 1 Corinthians 6:12 it tells us:

All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." 

So I just see it as a means of finishing my race well in the Lord, and I can choose foods that help me and not hurt me because I want to like an athlete you don't see athletes going for the Olympics eating any old kind of thing, or going out drinking and doing all of this other stuff that's going to hinder them from finishing their race, so I feel my life is just as important. My race in the Lord. And I think that's true for all of us.

Why make life any harder than it has to be because God in his great wisdom he gave us so many foods to choose from that help us, and not those that hurt us. So we can just go for that, and our lives will be so much easier in that respect if we did that. I know, of course, the world has so many temptations out there, but God gives us wisdom to make those wise choices to keep our paths straight.

- [Dr. Pam]  Yes, he does, yes, he does, yes, he does. He makes it so much easier for us then it otherwise would be without him. And so how would this, well, I think you've sort of answered that about how the seed was planted. That was the next question I was going to ask you about the early seeds that were planted in your heart that would empower you to control your eating habits beyond what you thought you could, and I think you've answered that for us relative to your adult life.

- [Kim] Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] But I also heard a few seeds thrown in there that were working against you in your childhood, and I think those are the long buried issues that a lot of people don't necessarily connect the dot on that, wow, how I'm experiencing this emotional hunger today may have some very deep roots, and some things that I missed in my childhood.

And so you talked about not having a father in your life, and food, and sweets in particular being a comfort through some of that. And so I think that was just excellent the way it seemed that once your path got started you made that excellent point that God began to reveal more and more to you about how deep some of these issues went for you, and particularly how deep the disconnection from him went for you.

Oftentimes people will relate to God in a way that their natural father related to them, and that is a stronghold or a roadblock that keeps a lot of us from being victorious in whatever it is that we're trying to achieve. So thank you for making that connection for us today.

And, by the way, I'm guessing, and I could be wrong that one of the difficulties, or one of the hurdles that you had to overcome was that people may have begun to mock you maybe, or maybe they began to be naysayers in your life where they saw you making these changes, and they saw you not eating the way you used to.

Did you have that experience? I hear that a lot. I don't know if that was your experience that maybe some people were mocking you through the journey.

- [Kim] Well, not so much mocking, but I will say that I had a family member who was my eating buddy.

- [Dr. Pam] Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- [Kim] And so when I started wanting to change, and this is actually before I became successful. Now when I look back on I was like, okay, she was sabotaging me, but at the time I didn't recognize it as sabotage, but I do remember at one point going on a diet. Again, this is before my turnaround, and having her and I was living... Well, okay, I won't give that thing because you'll probably know who I'm talking about, I suppose.

- [Dr. Pam] Okay.

- [Kim] But, anyway, this person they made my favorite dessert like three times in a row when we got together.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow.

- [Kim] And this person knew that I was attempting to lose weight.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow.

- [Kim] And I don't think it was with any malice, but I believe that because our relationship was changing because so much of our communication, and our get togethers were around food and eating that by me changing that she felt uncomfortable. It's almost like I think almost like where you're dancing with a person, you're in a dance and everybody, both parties know the steps of the dance, but then one partner decides to change the steps on you.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- [Kim] And now all of a sudden, wait a minute, this is not what I signed up for.

- [Dr. Pam] Right.

- [Kim] We're supposed to be dancing this way, and why are you changing the steps on me now?

- [Dr. Pam] Yes.

- [Kim] So it can make people uncomfortable with that, and I think that at the time she herself was struggling with her weight, and as long as she had a buddy who was doing the same things then I thought that I think it made her feel comfortable where she was.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes.

- [Kim] And then when I changed the steps like I mentioned, and started eating healthier, then she may have felt some conviction. Now it wasn't anything that I was doing. It was her where she felt convicted, and so one of the struggles that I had on my weight loss journey was the desire to still remain in fellowship with her, but at the same time safeguard and protect my own health because each person has to decide how they want to live. 

And I'm not condemning, I didn't condemn her anything for what she was doing, but I had to make the decision that I can't live for her. That I have to live for my own health and safety, and that she can make the decision about what she wants to do with her life.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes.

- [Kim] So that part was uncomfortable. She didn't mock, she didn't come out and say anything like what are you doing, or mocking or anything, but there was that sabotage behavior that came.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes, exactly. I think part of it to your point that she wasn't trying to do this maliciously or anything. And I think part of it is they just miss you. They miss sharing that space with you where you both found such pleasure, and delight, and companionship coupled with the fact as you touched on that your joining her in that in some kind of way unconsciously gave her permission to keep doing that even though intellectually I'm sure she was just as aware as you were that this isn't good for me. This is not good for us, but we're having so much fun.

And isn't that the case that most crimes, or most sin, if you will, is enhanced by a partnership?

- [Kim] Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] That's the saying my partner in crime it just seems to give you a certain permission, and it makes it okay that we're doing this together, and it has this bonding effect on a relationship as you alluded to, so that's interesting. And your relationship, by the way, was it able to survive the changes that were happening for you?

- [Kim] Yes, it was able to survive. Now I will say that she didn't change immediately, but over time she started her own program, her own exercise program, and she started weaning herself off the sweets. So, yes, our relationship has survived, but there was a period where it was a bit uncomfortable. And I felt uncomfortable in a way because I wanted to please, and one of the things that I did discover on my journey was I was a people pleaser of the highest order. I wanted people to approve of me.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] And so I had to learn, and I had this fear on the inside of me that somehow if I lost the weight that I was going to turn into a person that I didn't like. And the reason I had this image of myself, actually, turning into, I'm going to date myself again, Alexis Carrington on "Dynasty."

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] She was like the villain of the whole program.

- [Dr. Pam] Right, yeah.

- [Kim] I saw myself as turning like getting slim, and turning into Alexis Carrington where I was just mean to everybody.

-[Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] And, actually, I'm going to go ahead and admit this one, too. I probably shouldn't, but I'm going to anyway.

- [Dr. Pam] Go for it, girl.

- [Kim] Go for it, okay.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah, go for it.

- [Kim] But, anyway, I was single at the time, and I thought to myself somehow that if I lost weight that I would become a loose woman even though I had never been a loose woman at all, never been a loose woman, but somehow I thought that I was just going to go be "girls gone wild", or something, I don't know. 

But I will say that once I lost the weight I did not lose my relationship with God. I did not become a mean woman. I hung onto my morals.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] So I could still be slimmer, and still be connected with God, and still maintain my morals and ideals, so that did not happen. So the thing I feared did not happen.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] But what did happen was that I learned how to set boundaries. And to say no when I needed to even though somebody may not have liked it. Well, I learned, and God showed me how to be slow to speak, quick to hear, slow to wrath. When I talk to people that I disagreed with, but I didn't always have to agree. Well, what's the word? I did not always have to act to please people. I could still set boundaries with people, and do it in a loving way.

- [Dr. Pam] Right, right. Now that, Kim, is a mouthful. Setting boundaries, oh, my goodness, that's a game-changer. I say this all the time. Boundaries are our friends.

They keep us in relationship with people before they have a chance to encroach upon us so much that we are repulsed by them, or that we resent them to a point, or hate them to a point because we've allowed them to keep entering and intruding, and violating our space, and our beliefs, and our morals, and our this and our that. 

If we can just set a clean boundary we're able to stay in relationship with people, and understand where we end and they begin, and vice versa, and we can disagree, and we can still be in relationship with each other.

- [Kim] Amen.

- [Dr. Pam] So, yeah, so boundaries. So this weight loss journey set in motion for you quite a few things. They just came in and just kind of not only cleaned house, but reordered your whole house, your whole temple was reordered.

And I want to circle back to the day that you were having those chest pains, and you heard God speak to you, and you knew, okay, I'm going to surrender, and I'm going to start a new journey with you God, but was there a specific day that you remember that you implemented the new program? You had a made up mind that, okay, come Monday, I'm starting my new program. Do you remember having a day like that?

- [Kim] Yeah, it was actually that day, truth be told, Pam. And the reason I say that is because when God spoke to me, and he said it's not supposed to be this way in such a kind, loving, compassionate way, and I sat down. I had a doctor's appointment, actually, later on that week because as I mentioned I was having issues with my blood pressure.

- [Dr. Pam] Right.

- [Kim] At that time, and I had a doctor's appointment card. And I remember actually taking that appointment card out of my purse and I wrote on that card today is the day I turn my life around.

- [Dr. Pam] Oh, my, did you keep that? Do you still have it?

- [Kim] You know what, it's probably around the house somewhere. I keep like a lot of things in a folder. It is probably in there, but I wrote on that today is the day I turn my life around, and I wrote the date.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow.

- [Kim] And the date was December 11th, 2003.

- [Dr. Pam] Oh, my goodness.

- [Pam] So I know exactly when I had a made up mind that I was going to do things differently, and I did not want to wait until Monday because it reminds me of the story about how God sent the plagues to Pharaoh to let the children of Israel go.

- [Dr. Pam] Uh-huh.

- [Pam] And one of the plagues was a plague of frogs, and I always think about that story because Moses actually asked Pharaoh when do you want me to take these away? And Pharaoh said tomorrow. And that has always, I always thought to myself if you got these plagues, and they're in your kneading bowls, and they're in your beds, and they're plaguing you why would you want to wait until tomorrow to change things? Why would you want to live with frogs another day?

- [Dr. Pam] Oh, wow.

- And so that's always what I think about when people say "I'll start my diet Monday," or "I'll start it tomorrow." It's like why would you want to live with that another day?

I can understand it if you don't have healthy food in the house, and you got to go shopping and all of that stuff, but too often what ends up happening, and I call it "last supper eating" where people will tell themselves that I'm never going to have sugar again, so they use that whole period between whatever the day that is and that Monday to eat up all the sugar they want like last supper eating.

And so they end up binging on the very thing that they say that they're never going to eat again. And that is contrary to the mindset that you need to have for long-term success is not having that temporary mindset.

So just to return to your question, though, yes, I know exactly what day I decided I was going to change. And I've had ups and downs, hills and valleys, but I've been on the journey, I never got off.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah, and I think what's interesting about that, Kim, when the day comes I think that people think, okay, that means I have to start eating carrots for dinner tonight, or I have to start drinking eight glasses of water this evening. And I think that there are many ways to jumpstart the journey.

It may be that that's the day you start to clean out the refrigerator, or it may be that that's the day you sit down with a pencil and paper and say, okay, well, here's my list for the grocery store. And it may be the day that you go to the grocery store, and buy some fruits and veggies. I mean, there are so many different pathways for jump-starting the journey without just, okay, tonight I'm eating bean sprouts.

It's a head game, too, so I got to get my head together. I got to get my refrigerator together. I got to get my routine together around preparing my lunch. Maybe that's the day you start preparing your lunch. And you fix that night what you're going to have for lunch tomorrow. The point that I would like to stress there is just start somewhere. Just start somewhere. Do what you can that day that begins the whole process.

- [Kim] Exactly. I was going to say as well, and you're right about that, but, see, you can always ask God the question because he says if you lack wisdom ask him.

- [Dr. Pam] Ask for it, yeah.

- [Kim] And he'll give it to your liberally and without reproach. So you could always ask God what is one small step that I can take right where I am to begin this journey?

- [Dr. Pam] Yes.

- [Kim] And all of those things that you said are possible, but listen to God through the voice of the Holy Spirit, and he'll give you, he'll show you what is one small step that you can take that speak to your faith as it were. You have the faith now add some feet.

What is a step that you could take in that direction? And it doesn't have to be a big overhaul because I think when we think of it as being I've got to overhaul everything then you get overwhelmed, and then you get scared, and then you're like, oh, well, I'll just chuck this whole thing. That's part of the diet mentality, Pam, all or nothing.

- [Dr. Pam] It is.

- [Kim] And I used to have that big time that if I didn't do things perfectly then I shouldn't do it all, or if I made a mistake, oh, that means that I need to quit. I'm never going to get it right, so I'll just quit, and then a few months later I'm the worst off, and then I start all over again. Well, no, no stopping and starting. Just start with that one small step and keep stepping knowing that the Lord will give you wisdom that will show you the right actions to take at the right time, but where you are right now.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes, that is the addiction mindset as well. That if I blow it, oh, well, I might as well go back to crack because I relapsed last night. So that is the mindset that works in opposition to God because God is giving. God is God's second, fifth, sixth, 10th chances, or 100 chances, and we just have to get up and dust ourselves off, and say, okay, yes, in fact, I did blow it, but guess what? His mercies are new everyday, and guess what? Tomorrow's a fresh day.

- [Kim] Amen.

- [Dr. Pam] And guess what? Grace is sufficient to cover me, and guess what? He loves me and he is for me, and if he be for me who can be against me.

- [Kim] Amen.

- [Dr. Pam] And guess what? We just keep going and guess what, and guess what, and guess what until we've trained ourselves up, and we've got our stride going again, so.

I love so much of what you said there. I never would have thought about that plague about the frogs like that. That's a perspective I've never heard before. And these illustrations that you are giving I think are memorable for people that you're painting these pictures because you really start to envision that, to imagine. Yeah, why would you want to go to bed one more night with frogs in your bed? Why would you want to go one more night with this condemnation, and this feeling yucky about yourself? Why would you want to go one more day?

So I love that, just start where you are, and I'm real big on baby steps. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps. Just one little thing I can do today to move the needle. I'm not trying to climb the mountain today, but I'm taking a step over the low molehill that's in front of me, and eventually I can speak to that mountain, or like today I can speak to that mountain, and tell the mountain to move as the word says, with faith at least the size of a mustard seed, and slowly but surely, I can get on the other side of that mountain, so.

- [Kim] Amen.

- [Dr. Pam] I love the illustrations. So, Kim, what was the first victory you recall that encouraged and inspired you?

- [Kim] Oh, girl, you're going to make me tell the Girl Scout cookie story.

- [Dr. Pam] Okay, that sounds interesting in and of itself.

- [Kim] Yeah, okay, I'll tell the Girl Scout cookie story.

- [Dr. Pam] Tell it, tell it.

- [Kim] The Girl Scout cookie story is that once I decided that I was going to change, I had forgotten that I had ordered Girl Scout cookies from a co-worker.

- [Dr. Pam] Oh.

- [Kim] And they were like the little thin mints, which I used to just love those things.

- [Dr. Pam] Oh, yeah, you have to eat the whole box once you start it's a law.

- [Kim] Yeah, you can, and I have, and I did back then, except that I'd already paid for them, so, of course, I was going to take them home. And I took the Girl Scout, the box home, and I told myself, okay, I'm going to just put them in the freezer, and I'll just have two. I said I'll just have two of these, and I'll put them in the freezer, and I'll just eat them a little bit at a time.

Well, of course, I ate my two cookies, and I sat down in front of the television. And then came that old voice that says, Kim, come eat me, come eat me. And so just like before with the Pepperidge Farm cake I went to the freezer like I was in robot mode, and I went to the freezer, and I got two more of the cookies, and I ate those, and sat down. And then I heard that voice again. Kim, come eat me, come eat me.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] And then I got mad. And I said I am not going there. And I went to the freezer, and I took that box of Girl Scout cookies, and I threw it on the kitchen floor, and I started jumping up and down on the box.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow, wow.

- [Kim] I mean, honestly, I laugh at it, too. It was like you could imagine this over 200 or some pound woman just jumping up and down on this Girl Scout cookie box in the kitchen.

- [Dr. Pam] Right.

- [Kim] And then I took that box and I opened up it's two packs. I think it's two packs in there. Anyway, it doesn't matter. They were crumbles now. And I took them to the toilet, and I opened up both packets, and I dumped the crumbs in the toilet, and then I flushed them.

- Oh, my.

- [Kim] And then I threw the box in the trashcan.

- Wow.

- And to me that was like my declaration of independence, as it were because that was a sign to myself, I'm not going there. I don't want these Girl Scout cookies to hijack my brain.

- That's right.

- [Kim] I don't want to lose self-control like I used to. Yes, maybe at one point I used to do that, but I don't do this anymore, I don't do it. I think, Pam, there's such a difference between people saying I can't do something versus I don't do it because saying I can't means that there's somebody on the outside that's telling you that you can't, and then that sparks the spirit of rebellion. Like you can't make me.

- Ding, ding, ding, yeah.

- [Kim] At that happens at lot. That happens a lot when you're on a diet, and this diet's telling you you need to do things this way. And there's that spirit or rebellion that can come in and say you can't make me do that.

- That's right.

- [Kim] But the language is different when you say I don't do it because then that means that you start to own your choices. And you've made a decision about the type of life that you want to live, and the person that you want to be.

And, see, at that particular junction even though I was well over 200 pounds at that time, I had decided that I wanted to live as a fit, and healthy person even before I lost a pound. So I changed my identity.

And that was so important because from the time I was 12 years old I used to tell myself the story that I was fat. And I used to call myself fat. And so that fat, that I am fat, became a self-fulfilling prophecy. And, see, now I look at that differently because saying I am fat is as ridiculous as saying I am bone, or I am blood, because the fat may have been part of who I was, but it was not who I was.

- [Dr. Pam] That's right.

- That was not my identity.

- That's right.

- My identity was as a child of God.

- That's right.

- [Kim] And so, I as a child of God decided that I want to live as a fit and healthy person. And destroying that Girl Scout cookie box like I did was like a line in the sand. It was like, no, this is the type of person I want to be so I don't do that anymore versus I can't do it.

- [Dr. Pam] Ooh, Kim, girl, that's powerful, that is powerful. Just the power of words, first of all, to work for us, or against us. We get to decide.

- Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] And the word says that faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. And so what our ears take in even if it's just our own voice that is saying it, and our ears are taking it in begins to take root, and it begins to form our identity, and that identity can either work for you, or against you.

- Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] So how important is that to have proper wording around how we see ourselves, and how we describe ourselves. That is extremely powerful what you just said. And I think we all get the point about what a victorious day that was for you. And, also, at this juncture were you beginning to attract people who were supporting you in the journey? Were you beginning to have some cheerleaders, and some people who were sharing the journey with you, or anything like that?

- [Kim] Yes, and that's an excellent question as well because I used to have a co-worker her name was Sandy. And Sandy was in excellent shape. We were the same age, and Sandy looked about 10 years younger than I did.

- [Dr. Pam] Okay.

- [Kim] But she had great health habits. She used to always bring her lunch. It was always a healthy lunch. And I know that she belonged to a gym, and she used to do all that stuff. And I decided for myself that you know what, I need somebody that I could use as a role model, or somebody who already has what I want.

- Right.

- [Kim] And so I asked Sandy if she would be my accountability partner. And the thing about it was I wasn't looking for Sandy to be my food cop, or anything like that, or food police, but I just wanted to have someone, again, to be accountable to, and to share some of the victories that I had, some of the struggles that I had. And even get advice and prayer because she was also a fellow Christian.

- [Dr. Pam] Oh, wonderful.

- Yes, so I would keep my food journal, and then every Monday I would just check in with Sandy, and just say, hey, Sandy, this is how my week went. And she would just listen. Like I said there were times when she would give advice, but she was a great partner.

And I think that one of the benefits of the Take Back Your Temple program, if I might give a little shout-out is that we have members who are committed to supporting one another on the journey. So if one of them stumbles, if somebody stumbles, then you've always got someone there in your corner to support you who are working towards the same goals. And some are a little further along in the journey, but we all want to finish this race well.

So for me, Sandy was that person who was my accountability partner. And the Bible itself says two are better than one, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. So I think that is something that's so important is that you have someone whose in your corner who can help you on the journey when you feel weak, or when you feel weary who can help to strengthen you, and encourage you to keep going.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes, absolutely, that would be a basic biblical concept is that God desires for us to turn toward each other, and not away from each other. And the journey is made so much enjoyable and doable inside of some kind of community.

- Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] And so your story is clearly an example of that. Were there any emotional hurdles that surprised you, and were difficult to overcome once you started to pick up some momentum, and you were starting to see some pounds drop off, was there anything that surprised you like, wow, I never would have thought that?

- [Kim] Yes, I think I kind of alluded to it a little bit earlier, but one of the things I had to encounter was my own fear and ideas about what it would mean if I was a slimmer person.

- Oh, yeah.

- [Kim] And the personality changes that I thought would happen.

- Oh, yeah. And really it's something that really is not uncommon.

- That's right.

- [Kim] And I've encountered that because through my takebackyourtemple.ue1.rapydapps.cloud website I get emails from people who are struggling with emotional eating, sugar addiction, food addiction.

- Uh-huh.

- [Kim] And share their weight loss fears with me. And one of the things that is very common is fearing that you're going to become a different person as a result of losing the weight because you don't have that weight. You don't have that coping mechanism. You have to change that.

And then surprisingly what I discovered is my issue as I mentioned was my father and being abandoned with that, but then I've also encountered through Take Back Your Temple is some members may have even suffered sexual assaults, rape, or incest, or other types of abuse, rejection.

- Oh, yeah.

- [Kim] All of these things that come into play in how they see themselves, and whether they think, whether they're worthy of being healthier. And that fear of if I don't have food to numb myself to these emotions then will I be able to cope with them? Will it be so overwhelming that I feel like dying, or some type of fear that the enemy is bringing up, and telling them these lies that you're not going to be able to cope, that you need this to get through life.

- Yeah.

- [Kim] And so that was one of the things that I had to face for myself is my own anger towards my father, and being able to forgive him for what I felt was the abandonment, and to recognize that even though I didn't have an earthly father, I had a heavenly father, who would never leave me nor forsake me.

- Right.

- [Kim] And that was one of the blessings of this journey because I think when we have these fears that are haunting us, then it becomes almost like a little child whose afraid of the boogeyman.

- Oh, yes, right.

- [Kim] And the parent can tell them that there is no boogeyman in the closet, or under the bed, but until the light is shone in that dark place, and the child sees that the boogeyman's not there then that fear is always going to keep them in bondage, and always going to haunt them.

- Yes.

- So I think that God, if we recognize that God, his promise to never leave us, and never forsake us.

- Yes.

- [Kim] Then we can recognize and trust him and say, okay, God, I admit that I'm scared. I don't know what's going to happen, but you know what, even though I don't know what's going to happen I know that you're going to be in the midst of it, that you're going to be with me, that you're never going to forsake me, and that you will give me the strength to face whatever it is I was afraid of facing.

- Yes.

- [Kim] And that you'll bring me the comfort. And that's such an amazing journey, and it is a journey. It's a healing journey. That's why I always think about Take Back Your Temple as a healing journey. We say weight loss, but really, ultimately, it's about a healing journey, and learning to know God more and more, and trust him, even as you're walking through the process.

- [Dr. Pam] Uh-hmm, yeah, it makes it more purpose-driven, and it attaches you to a higher purpose,

- Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] And a higher calling, that's what I want to say. A higher calling, that's what I want to say. So you said a lot there that I'm glad your circled back on that thing about the thoughts that you had going through your mind about, oh, I'm going to become a loose woman, or, oh, I'm not going to be the same person. I'm going to become mean-spirited, or whatever it was that was going through your mind.

I've heard that so many times in my practice when people particularly when I think about shy people. I've had a lot of people who struggle with being assertive, and speaking their mind, and so forth. And the voice that they often hear is, oh, but if I ever do speak my mind I'm just going to lose it. I'm just going to become a Tasmanian devil, and I'm just going to wreak havoc on people and circumstances because I won't be able to stop, and I'm just going to unleash all this stuff.

And then when I will ask them, well, let me ask you something. Has that ever happened to you before? Has that ever been a part of your character? 100% of the time the answer is, well, no.

- [Kim] Yeah, yeah.

- [Dr. Pam] So why does that suddenly appear at this point? And so it just goes to show you the lies of Satan.

- Yes.

- [Dr. Pam] That's how he will condemn, and, oh, you better not do that, and you better not try that, and you better not go here because you know this, that, and the other is going to happen. And we will believe that lie. That lie will be so real in our minds and in our hearts. And so I'm so glad you circled back on that because I did want to say something about that. Go ahead.

- [Kim] Yeah, I just wanted to add, and it's so interesting that you talked about shy people because I grew up shy as well.

- Uh-huh.

- [Kim] So, yes, that was part of it, but I will say that one person who was a reader of my Take Back Your Temple website she wrote to me one time, and she said, "If people only knew what my fat holds back, "they would prefer me fat."

And so somehow in her mind her being a nice person was tied to her being overweight, but really when you think about it, logically it doesn't make sense, but the enemy can sound so convincing.

- It was real.

- [Kim] Yeah, he's real, he's real. And I don't think the Bible says that the serpent in the Garden of Eden was the most subtle, cunning creature in the garden because all his power is lies. And I remember reading a quote one time, and I can't remember who said it, but he said that the power of Satan is in the lie. And if you remove the lie you remove the power.

- Yeah.

- [Kim] And I thought that was such a powerful quote, and so very true. So with Take Back Your Temple such a big part of the process is learning to identify what lies that you believe that are keeping you overweight. And replacing those lies with godly truth.

- With truth.

- And choosing to walk in that truth.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes, absolutely, I love that. And just to circle back relative to what you said on the lies, and circling back to the issue of sexual abuse, and molestation, and rape, and all these things that often are the case for people who are morbidly obese. That obesity is a cushion around them that keeps people at bay from you. And it keeps you from maybe attracting men who in your mind are all harmful, or potentially harmful. And so if I keep this weight on I, therefore, will be safe.

- That's right.

- [Dr. Pam] So that's another very common lie. I won't attract anybody who could hurt me again. And I would just say, too, as we actually, unfortunately, getting near the end of our time together because I could really, I could just talk to you for hours about this, but I remember when I was in grad school there was a very popular book called "Love's Executioner."

And I can't remember who the author was. It was a famous psychologist who was essentially telling the story of a woman he had worked with who had been very, very, very obese. And as she began to lose the weight whatever she had experienced at that weight in her emotional life and journey, she began to reexperience it when she got back down to the size that she was, when she got divorced, or when somebody rejected her, her best friend betrayed her, or whatever it was.

And it was such a profound illustration of how the body traps these layers of emotional trauma. And in this particular book it depicted how the trauma was embedded in the fat. And as she lost the weight it uncovered another layer that was there in her emotional history.  

So I just think that's a lesson for us all that these bodies are far more than just two legs, two arms, two pairs of hands, and it weighs this much, and it wears this size of clothing. These bodies are containers for so much of our journey through life emotionally, and physically, and spiritually, and so forth.

So, therefore, the body should garner that kind, the care of the body should have that kind of respect, should earn that kind of respect from us because it is the container of so much. And I just wanted to say that about that book, and relative to what you just said the sexual trauma that so many have experienced who are very large.

Let me see, what's the last thing I can ask you as we wrap up here, let's see. Let me just throw this up for just an open-ended answer from you just an open-ended question for whatever kind of answer you want to give it.

Is there anything else that you think you would need to share, or like to share relative to the myths of obesity, or weight loss, which I think we actually touched on quite a few of those already, or relative to some essential tips or strategies, or just anything else that you think you need to get out here before we bring this discussion to a close.

- [Kim] Yes, I think one of the main things about weight loss that I think a lot of people have this ideal is that somehow if I lose the weight then I will have permission to like myself.

- [Dr. Pam] Wow.

- [Kim] And that's why it becomes such of great importance because somehow where they are right now they may feel condemned, they may be insulting themselves, putting themselves down, and then somehow if I lose the weight now, I can finally feel good about who I am.

- [Dr. Pam] Yeah.

- [Kim] And I'll finally feel good about who I am. Well, I get the question a lot, and I got it, actually, on another interview as well is the question that was asked was, well, why does God care what you weigh?

And my answer and I told her in a nutshell he doesn't care what you weigh.

What he cares about is what's going on in your heart because the Bible tells us to guard our heart with all diligence for out of it springs the issues of life.

- [Dr. Pam] Right.

- [Kim] And that is what God cares about. In fact, the Bible also says that it's man that looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart.

- [Dr. Pam]  That's right.

- [Kim] And that's where God wants to deal with us. He wants to deal with our weight issues at the heart level.

- [Dr. Pam]  That's right.

- [Kim] Because if you change your heart and change your mind then the rest of it on the outside will begin to line up with the person that you believe that you are.

- [Dr. Pam]  Yes, yes.

- [Kim] And I've seen that, what we believe about ourselves determines how we treat ourselves. And so to me the first step of somebody who might be in addiction, or have like brain hijacking like I did, or emotional eating, is to examine how do you see yourself? Do you see yourself the way God sees you?

- [Dr. Pam]  Yes.

- [Kim] And I think that is such an important process of the healing process is learning to examine the lies that you may have believed that Satan told about who you are, and examine and compare them to what God says about you. In fact, I do have an article on my takebackyourtemple.ue1.rapydapps.cloud website called Who I Am In Christ.

And those are some Scriptures that our members have compiled, or shared with me as to how they see themselves, what God says that they are. And so I compiled them, and early on when people join the program that's one of the resources that I share with them.

Also, is to check to be sure that your identity is in line with who God says you are because if you see yourself as valuable and precious, and see that you have a father who thought you were worth creating, and you have a Savior who thought you were worth dying for then that starts to inform yourself to say, yes, I am worth the time. I am worth the effort to do the things that I need to do to take care of my body as God's temple.

So that is one thing for sure that I would recognize as a first step to take before you even address the diet and exercise parts of it then start doing that because your aim is to build a solid foundation.

- [Dr. Pam] Yes.

- [Kim] And seeing God rightly, seeing yourself rightly in his eyes is part of that foundation along with seeing that you are created on purpose, and for a purpose, to encourage, and view it in that context versus this little compartmentalized context of diet.

- [Dr. Pam]  Right, right. So we all want to become who God created us to be, and not who we were raised to be because those those two things can be very, very different. And there is no being on the earth that's going to love us more than God.

- Amen.

- [Dr. Pam] And so we want to align with who he created us to be. Well, Kim, I tell you, I have thoroughly enjoyed this. And I pray that the listeners have gleaned many things from this. And tell the audience, by the way, how they can get in touch with you.

- [Kim] Okay, well, your listeners can actually get in touch with me through my website which is takebackyourtemple.ue1.rapydapps.cloud. 

- [Dr. Pam] Okay, well, Kim, listen, thank you so much. This has been wonderful. I have personally learned so much, and I'll be passing on your pearls of wisdom to my clients, and anybody that is struggling in this same way. This has been another fantastic episode of "Intentionally Free."

And I think we have all had a treat today with Kim Taylor. And I do encourage you to get in touch with her, and to learn more of the wonderful things that she has to offer. So thank you so much. I'm signing off, and I'll see you next time. Take good care, thank you for listening, bye-bye.