I once polled Take Back Your Temple readers: ''What is the WORST feeling about practicing Emotional Eating?''
A member added the #1 answer and it ''won'' by a large margin: Self-loathing.
Wow.
As I looked up the definition of ''loathe'' and its synonyms, a devastating picture emerged of the bondage behind it.
The enemy wants you to practice self loathing and lack of self-forgiveness because it traps you in a dark place, feeling like you'll never change.
He wants you under his feet because there, you aren't a threat to him. But the devil is a liar!
As a disciple of Jesus Christ, you are an Overcomer through Him.
A while back, the Lord woke me up with a revelation that I MUST share, especially if you are allowing a spirit of self loathing to dwell with you.
This can be life-changing if you want to get free of self-loathing's oppression.
What is the REAL Self loathing Meaning?
"What is the real Self loathing Meaning?"
Here is the definition of the word "loathe:"
Feel intense dislike or disgust for. A feeling of revulsion or strong disapproval aroused by something unpleasant or offensive.
Can you see why experiencing feelings like this about yourself is so devastating?
Now, check out the following synonyms for the word ''loathe.'' I recommend reading them slowly and allowing the words to paint a mental picture of someone who harbors such thoughts and feelings about themselves:
- Hate
- Detest
- Abhor
- Despise
- Not able to bear
- Not able to stand
- Not able to stomach
- Shrink from
- Recoil from
- Find repugnant
- Find repellent
- Find intolerable
- Hostility
- Malice
- Enmity
- Yuck factor
- Bad feeling
- Ill feeling
- Ill will
As awful as these words are, particularly when they are directed toward yourself, that last one stopped me in my tracks: Ill Will.
The implications of that phrase are huge, especially related to mental and physical health.
The Revelation of "Ill Will"
When someone has ''ill will'' towards another person, that means they wish the person ill - bad things to happen to them.
Now think of ''ill will'' in the reverse: Will for Ill.
Ill refers to sickness and disease. Sickness and disease are bad things!
What if ''self loathing'' is the enemy's way of deceiving the person into activating a ''self-destruct'' button within themselves?
Create an environment within them conducive to getting sick?
When a person has 'ill will'' toward themselves, they will start practicing self-destructive behaviors to cope, such as alcoholism, drug addiction, and yes, emotional or binge eating!
Your will itself is ill when driven to do things that destroy you.
Consider that Jesus said the Kingdom of God is within (see Luke 17:21).
Romans 14:17 defines what the Kingdom of God is:
for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
However, "ill will" creates a toxic environment within that opposes the Kingdom of God.
As disciples of Jesus Christ, our destiny is to represent the Kingdom of God, not to oppose it!
It is impossible to experience health and healing if you have a spirit of ''ill will!''
The sad thing about having ''ill will'' toward yourself is that many of us learned habits of self-loathing when we were too young to know any better.
Inside each one of us is the memory of the child who longs for love and acceptance.
Yet, instead of love and compassion towards that child, we instead give them ''ill will.''
We berate and insult them.
We send messages like, ''If you lose X number of pounds, maybe then I will love you.''
I believe that is why so many people make weight loss an idol; deep down, they think that losing weight will finally give them permission to love and accept themselves!
Unfortunately, they end up in a vicious cycle of self-loathing and deny themselves of the very love, care, and compassion they need most to heal.
But there is a way to reverse the cycle.
It starts with your belief that God loves you and reminding yourself that you have Heavenly Father who thought you were worth creating and a Savior who thought you were worth dying for!
LOVE becomes your motivator for change, not condemnation. Love is the best motivator of all.
Instead of ''ill will'' toward yourself, you will develop an attitude of ''Heal will!''