I once polled Take Back Your Temple readers: ”What is the WORST feeling about practicing Emotional Eating?”
A member added the #1 answer and it ”won” by a large margin: Self-loathing.
As I looked up the definition of ”loathe” and its synonyms, a devastating picture emerged of the bondage behind it.
The enemy wants you to practice self loathing and lack of self-forgiveness because it traps you in a dark place, feeling like you’ll never change.
He wants you under his feet because there, you aren’t a threat to him. But the devil is a liar!
As a disciple of Jesus Christ, you are an Overcomer through Him.
A while back, the Lord woke me up with a revelation that I MUST share, especially if you are allowing a spirit of self loathing to dwell with you.
This can be life-changing if you want to get free of self-loathing’s oppression.
What is the REAL Self loathing Meaning?
“What is the real Self loathing Meaning?”
Here is the definition of the word “loathe:”
Feel intense dislike or disgust for. A feeling of revulsion or strong disapproval aroused by something unpleasant or offensive.
Can you see why experiencing feelings like this about yourself is so devastating?
Now, check out the following synonyms for the word ”loathe.” I recommend reading them slowly and allowing the words to paint a mental picture of someone who harbors such thoughts and feelings about themselves:
- Not able to bear
- Not able to stand
- Not able to stomach
- Shrink from
- Recoil from
- Find repugnant
- Find repellent
- Find intolerable
- Yuck factor
- Bad feeling
- Ill feeling
- Ill will
As awful as these words are, particularly when they are directed toward yourself, that last one stopped me in my tracks: Ill Will.
The implications of that phrase are huge, especially related to mental and physical health.
The Revelation of “Ill Will”
When someone has ”ill will” towards another person, that means they wish the person ill – bad things to happen to them.
Now think of ”ill will” in the reverse: Will for Ill.
Ill refers to sickness and disease. Sickness and disease are bad things!
What if ”self loathing” is the enemy’s way of deceiving the person into activating a ”self-destruct” button within themselves?
Create an environment within them conducive to getting sick?
When a person has ‘ill will” toward themselves, they will start practicing self-destructive behaviors to cope, such as alcoholism, drug addiction, and yes, emotional or binge eating!
Your will itself is ill when driven to do things that destroy you.
Consider that Jesus said the Kingdom of God is within (see Luke 17:21).
Romans 14:17 defines what the Kingdom of God is:
for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.
However, “ill will” creates a toxic environment within that opposes the Kingdom of God.
As disciples of Jesus Christ, our destiny is to represent the Kingdom of God, not to oppose it!
It is impossible to experience health and healing if you have a spirit of ”ill will!”
The sad thing about having ”ill will” toward yourself is that many of us learned habits of self-loathing when we were too young to know any better.
Inside each one of us is the memory of the child who longs for love and acceptance.
Yet, instead of love and compassion towards that child, we instead give them ”ill will.”
We berate and insult them.
We send messages like, ”If you lose X number of pounds, maybe then I will love you.”
I believe that is why so many people make weight loss an idol; deep down, they think that losing weight will finally give them permission to love and accept themselves!
Unfortunately, they end up in a vicious cycle of self-loathing and deny themselves of the very love, care, and compassion they need most to heal.
But there is a way to reverse the cycle.
It starts with your belief that God loves you and reminding yourself that you have Heavenly Father who thought you were worth creating and a Savior who thought you were worth dying for!
LOVE becomes your motivator for change, not condemnation. Love is the best motivator of all.
Instead of ”ill will” toward yourself, you will develop an attitude of ”Heal will!”
Be Blessed with Health, Healing, and Wholeness,
Author of the Take Back Your Temple program
P.S. Do you struggle with overeating sugar? If so, you are not alone!
Overcoming sugar addiction was a key factor on my journey to losing 85 pounds and dropping from a size 22 to a size 8.
In our 14-day Sugar Detox Challenge online course (inside the Take Back Your Temple program), you’ll get the same success strategies and support to gain peace in your eating habits and achieve lasting weight loss.
Click here to learn more about the Take Back Your Temple program.
“Prayer for Weight Loss”
Praise the Lord! This is right on time. Thank you so much Kimberly, this article gave me chills. I just had a terrible dream about my father and it may tie in to why I have the relationship I have with food. God bless you and all that you do
You are welcome, Felecia – I love it when the Lord confirms the right word at the right time 🙂
Reading this again , Kimberley . Since the day I first commented on your poll I have gained 16 lb . Today I feel this feeling as bad as ever. I knew I had to find this article. I typed the most basic words into google and up it popped. Thank you for writing this . I know I need to read it all over again. x
Hi Heather – I am glad you found this again. The Lord loves you and will meet you where you are. It is the enemy who wants to keep you trapped in guilt, shame, and fear. In that way, he can keep us under his feet. But as believers in Jesus, we are the head and not the tail – above only and not beneath. He is the way, the truth and the life. When we walk with Him, we walk with the light of life! Sister, it is time to arise to your true position in Him. I am praying that the Lord illuminate the root of this issue in your life and give you courage to face it with His help.
Thank you! This hits the nail on the head in regards to me. ill will towards myself. Good picture. Working on forgiving myself as Jesus forgave me.
Terrific, Elizabeth! Forgiveness and reconciliation as such precious gifts that Jesus purchased for us through His sacrifice on the cross. All praise to the Lord for His gits of love. “For God so LOVED…”
Wow, this is so true in my life. I want to overcome this, but how? I’ve been a Christian for years. I read my Bible and try to live my life for Him. I don’t know why I can’t seem to let go of this horrible thing I do to myself.
Hi Debbie – it really comes down to 2 things: How you see God and how you see yourself through His eyes. I think these two articles will help. I recommend reviewing these articles prayerfully and journaling about them. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the revelation about the lies you are believing in this matter. He will reveal the truth that makes you free!:
Thank you, Kimberly. This is a strong and powerful word from the Lord! I try to love myself and be gentle with myself as I go through this spiritual life journey.
Glad to hear that, Gladys! The Lord loves you and when you love yourself, you show honor to the One who created you. You have a Father who thought you were worth creating and a Savior who thought you were worth dying for. Ponder that in your heart and you will begin to love yourself from the fullness of God’s love for you!
Can’t God love us even if we don’t love ourselves? Sometimes we have good reasons… If we’re at least not abusing food, etc., can’t our God be merciful to us?
Of course God can AND DO love us!
What “good” reason would anyone have for NOT loving the creation that God took the time to create in us?
God is and always have been merciful to each of us as well as extending grace to us.
The problem a lot of us have is with the word “Self”.
We are spiritual and WONDERFULLY made “BY HIM”, dare I say!
If we seek God He will be found in our very life and He (His Holy Spirit) will indeed help us, lead us and guide us.
Wonderful response, TBYTVA! Anon, the Lord loves you and this article explains why: https://www.everystudent.com/features/know-God.html
This article may be helpful as well: https://takebackyourtemple.com/dont-feel-god-loves-me/
I work in aged care and have found myself having a heavy dislike for an obese resident. Her dementia makes her non-compliant, but she is capable of doing much more. I realised it’s not about her…but me. I don’t have the heavy dislike that was in my conscious mind. But it’s in my subconscious mind. Very frustrating to be honest.
I can imagine that would be difficult to handle, Kylie! The Lord will bless you as you minister to this lady with the love of Christ, even though it is hard. I pray these scriptures will minister to you as well:
““Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’”
“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ – Matthew 25:34-40
Amen! Praise God for your ministry. You’ve helped me see the “Ill will” thinking my mind has gravitated towards over the years and encouraged me to thrive towards “heal will” . I am grateful for you!
I am happy to help, Sophia. Our Lord is the best teacher and revealer of secrets. He loves us and wants the best for us. Heal will is part of that. May you prosper and be health as your soul prospers.
Wow! This blessed me tremendously. Thank you so very much, Kim.
You are welcome, Regina – all glory to God!
Amen Thank you!
Wow, I can totally relate to this. This is something that I struggle with! I hated seeing pictures of myself because all I could see was fat!! I am better know, still have good days and bad days. I know with Jesus, all things are possible!!
Indeed, Valerie! As I wrote to a previous commenter, we have a Heavenly Father who thought we were worth creating and a Savior who thought we were worth dying for. Love and respect for the person God created us to be is the best motivator for change because how we see ourselves determines how we treat ourselves. Condemnation is a guarantee for a person to remain stuck where they are and that is not what God wants for us. He wants us to walk in the light as He is in the light!
God bless everyone reading this site.
Thank you, Stacy – we receive it!
Really a eye opening subject that we never think about, and that we have to be honest with ourselves if we want to overcome these lessons.
Exactly, Roberta – God does not want us hating the ones He took time to create – us! We will never be free unless we establish our identity of who we are in Christ. We are accepted in the Beloved!
Excellent ! Sometimes I ask myself, Why are you purposefully “trying” to hurt yourself ? I think, Do I have some subconscious death wish? Eating until you make yourself sick is weird self abuse. And I often feel like I will NOT be acceptable to myself or anyone until I weigh X pounds. I am a Christian and I do not want to hate myself. I know God loves me today as I am. That needs to be my FOCUS going forward.
Amen, Marcy! May it be to you according to God’s word. He loves and accepts you. I often remind myself – “You have a Father who thought you were worth creating and a Savior who thought you were worth dying for.” That helps me to stay grounded in love as the Lord wants!
I can totally relate, Marcy. I think these exact thoughts almost daily. I really WANT to believe I am acceptable regardless of my weight, but, I don’t. (yet) Working on it! 🙂
SO powerful. Thank you. Love the reference to Romans 14:17.
Glad to hear this spoke to you Rosie – may the Lord continue to bless you!
Powerful words, Kim. This is exactly what I needed to hear.
I am glad to hear that, Sheila! God’s word is always right on time!
Wow! Those post hit very close to my heart with having personally struggled in this area for so many years. Just last year I was spiraling into a pit of shame once again until God supernaturally healed me through an experience I’ll never forget. It was a a very hard habit to break because of the many years I was entrenched in this “disease” but I’m healed better than ever before and God has proven Himself faithful time and time again. Such a rich experience but so very healing in ways I can’t describe. Thank you for this beautiful message of hope.
Amen, Janelle – all praise to our God who delivers the right word at the right time!
You are welcome!
It’s exactly what I needed to hear!! Thanks for sending this email!!
You are welcome, Susan – all glory to our Father!
This was such a great article. Self loathing ….
my friend told me
To bless myself but I could not. I have been praying about letting go of self loathing. Your article helped so much. I feel like the Lord heard me and then you posted this . Thank you for all your wisdom.
Glad to hear that Tanya – we are precious in God’s sight and my prayer is that we see ourselves through His eyes!
I’ve been on this mailing list for quite sometime and will occasionally read the messages. However this ONE, the Holy Spirit said STOP and READ! This post is so on time and hit the very issue I’m dealing with directly!! Thank you!
Glad to hear it spoke to you, Ayo – God is good!
I can So! relate to the “lll””Will” feeling! I was always searching for love and acceptance from people! I struggled with emotional eating and bulimia! It took many years but! Yeshua! set me free! The feeling! tries to come back! I know! from where it comes! I tell it to go! In Yeshua s Name! There are times! I fall! But! I know! I can get back up! I am more! than a Conqueror! In Yeshua!
We all are!
Amen, Mary Joy – I know your testimony will encourage others to exchange the lies for the truth so they can experience freedom in Jesus. Hallelujah!
I have been feeling this I’ll will and self-loathing lately. This is hard to write. So much I want to say.
Through my tears, I will just say, thank you…THANK YOU, Kimberly. This…
– “Self-loathing opposes God’s Kingdom within me.
– “Ill will creates a toxic environment that opposes the Kingdom of God.
-“As a disciple of Jesus our destiny is to represent the Kingdom of God NOT oppose it.
Jesus, I surrender all my past sins, all my failures. Release from me those ill will thoughts as I embrace Your love and heal me and restore the kingdom of God within me. In Jesus precious Holy name. Amen.
Amen, Teresa – powerful prayer and I am praying in agreement with you, especially that all who are suffering from “ill will” receive the prayer you wrote in Jesus name!
I have been dealing with this for awhile now. I had successful weight loss and recovery from compulsive overeating and then my husband developed GBM-a very lethal form of primary brain cancer. Since I am an emotional eater, I have been slowly sliding into that pit and of course, the self-loathing that goes with it. I joined this group a couple if years ago but have not been able to commit to doing what is necessary. Thanks for this today. I will pray and meditate on Healing Will this morning. Have a blessed day!
@Jeanie – I pray the Lord continue to keep you in His love and peace. He is walking with you in this journey with your husband and I pray for his healing as well as yours. Know this: Nothing is too hard for our God. Because God is “I Am” we can say, “I was.” Think about that 🙂
I could have written this comment. Jeanie’s words are also my words. From emotional overeating, to staying in the border area of this group, to falling into the pit of self despair after my husband too developed terminal primary brain cancer. With his death in February quickly followed by the isolation caused by the COVID-19 outbreak, I feel alone in the middle of a sea. I would think “it does not matter” or “it’s okay; begin your diet tommorow” as I openned another bag of party-size Cheetoes. I do believe in God. However, I must learn to believe in the power and the promise of God and his son, Jesus. Kimberly, your article on ‘ill-will’ is ringing the bell of truth. Self-loathing IS the reason for obesity. Before writing this, I repeated the words: “The devil is a liar.” After I did, thoughts of a bad past action or re-action that I felt was my fault flooded my brain. I repeated it until those thoughts faded. Thank you Kimberly for your God-given gift of speaking and writing and giving hope. You are doing God’s work, and very well I may add. A copy of “The Supernatural Danger of Self-Loathing” will now be carried in my pocket and I will re-read frequently. And to Jeanie… You are not alone. We are all connected.
Wonderful, Ida – I am praising God for your breakthrough!
Thank you. How true is this, never saw this before. How many years have I spent talking and feeling bad about myself. I repent right now. The scripture that come to my mind is Psalm 139:14 praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. This is my new mindset.
Amen, Sister! Love must be our motivator for change because we serve a God of LOVE. May the Lord continue to bless you as you see yourself through His eyes – accepted in the Beloved!
Thank you sister Kimberly for such a
kind revelation, I now start with self reflection so I can get read of my ill will but Heal will.
Amen, Mandisa. May you prosper and be in health even as your soul prospers!
This article is truth. I receive it. Early in my childhood I felt I had to EARN my moms love. My oldest sister was killed in 1973 by a drunk driver (I was present with her when this happened. I was 8 she was 12.) and I BELIEVED my mom blamed me for her death because my sister was sent to get me from a neighbor’s house when this occurred. So, feeling or sensing love was absent. NO matter what I did at home mom made me feel like it was NEVER enough. Since reading this article, I know I have ILL Will towards myself. Thanks again.
I praise God that you accept this truth, Kimberly! But now you know that you are accepted in the Beloved through Jesus. Old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new! God loves you to LIFE, therefore you have permission to love yourself out of the abundance of love that He has for you.
We have this image of what should and should not be accepted due to a false realization, & when we look in the mirror to see the total opposite not to mention the rejection that comes along with it, Well pretty soon you start to reject your self as well. Thank you Kimberly for your program. I receive the emails but I am considering joining because the Lord is the answer to taking my temple back. After all he created these bodies therefore it only makes since to seek him for the answers. Again Thank you.
Amen, Fannie – so true! I love what you said here: ”The Lord is the answer to taking my temple back. After all He created these bodies therefore it only makes sense to seek him for the answers.” That’s the conclusion that I came to back in 2003 and now I can say it was one of the best decisions I ever made, behind coming to know Jesus as my Savior and marrying my husband, Mike!
Sister Kimberly, thank you so much for this on time word. I was just dealing with that feeling today. I had to ask the Lord to help me love myself as I am at this very moment. Thank you so much once again. Irene S.
You are welcome, Irene! Oh that we learn to love the person that God created us to be. He loves us with all of our flaws and scars and expects us to love our neighbors AS (comparable to) ourselves. So, we aren’t left out of that command 🙂
Very well said, Kimberly. I have read and re-read this article. I have been working towards loving myself since we are to first and foremost love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and mind — but Jesus also instructs us to love our neighbor as yourself(Matthew 22:39)… so we must love ourself if we are to love our neighbor. You are so right, about the relation between “ill will” and self destruction — eating abuse. Although I never lost weight, I do admit my idol has been “diets”…diets never worked, because I was in an abusive relationship with food. I was using food to destroy not for nourishment.
I praise God for the revelation that He has opened up to you, Teresa! I also thank you for posting because your transparency will open the door for someone else’s freedom!