“It seemed the bigger I became, the smaller my world became.”
I wrote those words after reflecting on some defining moments in my weight and food addiction struggle.
I missed out on so many things I wanted to do physically, but couldn’t do at 240 pounds.
The enemy was consuming my life.
I wasted all of my 20s and most of my 30s living out a food addiction rather than living out my life.
One such incident involved a roller-coaster: The Scream Machine.
I’ve told very few people this story. But one insight I gained from it helped me gain the victory over emotional eating and weight struggles eventually.
Here is the story.
The Scream Machine
I went to an amusement park with some friends. I was looking forward to riding the most daring roller-coaster in the park at the time, the Scream Machine.
None of my friends wanted to get on it, so I decided to go by myself. I waited in the long line and was excited when it was finally time for me to get on board.
I found an empty car, settled in, reached for the seat belt on both sides, and pulled it to go around my waist.
And pulled. And pulled.
My face burned. No matter how much I pulled, the seatbelt was not long enough to fit around my belly. I sat there, stunned.
I wasn’t sure what to do.
Then I became conscious of the teen-aged ride attendant walking around, checking that everyone had their seat belts on. A sinking feeling developed in the pit of my stomach as I awaited my turn.
When he got to my car, he peered inside. He saw that my seat belt wasn’t on. “Ma’am, you need to put your seat belt on before the ride can start.”
I took a deep breath. The boy stood there, waiting for me to fasten the seat belt.
Hoping for a miracle, I grabbed both ends of the seat belt and tried to pull it across my belly again. But just like before, it was too short by 4 inches to buckle.
The teen-aged attendant watched me with his arms folded, frowning. “Ma’am if you can’t get the seatbelt on, you are going to have to get off this ride.”
Fighting back tears, I nodded. I exited the ride. By the time I got back to my friends, the rollercoaster was on its way without me.
Face the Truth or Deny it?
My friends were surprised to see me. “We thought you were on the ride,” they said. They waited for my explanation as to what happened.
Did I tell them the truth?
I was too humiliated to admit the truth. Instead, I told them that I changed my mind and didn’t want to ride that roller-coaster anyway.
But the truth was, I did want to ride that roller-coaster!
However, it was one of the dozen things I learned to downplay because it hurt too much to think about what I was missing out on because of my size.
I got very good at downplaying and denial. So good that it took another 3 years after this incident before I decided to lose the excess weight for good.
The final straw was having a severe chest pain that I thought was going to kill me. That hurt so much that I couldn’t deny the reality of my situation anymore.
When God spoke to me with love and compassion and said, “It is not supposed to be this way,” I had a choice. Would I believe Him or not?
Facing the Truth with God’s Help
When God gives us a revelation, we always have a choice as to what to do about it:
- Go back to sleep and pretend that we didn’t see and didn’t hear
- Wake up and take steps to change our story, day by day and choice by choice with God’s help
The answer is one of the most important decisions we can make!
In my case, I decided to believe. I wanted the Lord to teach me the way it was supposed to be.
I finally got tired of feeling like I was hiding from my own life. It was time for me to show up for it.
Allowing the Lord into my heart and learning to handle my emotions His way rather than burying them under food was the key to my victory.
I had to learn to replace the enemy’s lies with God’s truth.
Dropping from a size 22 to a size 8 opened up a whole new world for me.
Not only have I ridden many roller-coasters since my weight loss, but I have hiked Stone Mountain, ridden in a hot air balloon, gone zip-lining and even rode a horse.
Okay, the horse-riding didn’t last long because the horse got scared and threw me off. But the Lord protected me and I was fine!
Are you showing up for your life?
You might not want to ride a roller-coaster like me, but do you have dreams that you are missing out on because of bondage to eating issues and weight?
You only get one life. And you are the only one who can choose how you want to go through it.
One of my favorite movie lines that illustrates this point is from the movie, “On Golden Pond.”
An adult daughter is angry at her father because of his neglect when she was growing up.
But her mother suggests she forgive her father and says to her, “Life marches on, Chelsea. I suggest you get on with it.”
I am writing to those for whom the excess weight and eating issue is a hindrance in their lives.
I created Take Back Your Temple for those who feel they are settling for less than what God has for them and don’t want eating issues to rule their lives anymore.
I wasted all of my 20s and most of my 30s living out a food addiction rather than living out my life.
I knew God’s desire is for me to “prosper and be in health even as my soul prospers.” And that time, it seemed impossible that I would ever get there.
However, I discovered the truth of this scripture:
"Behold, God is exalted by His power; Who teaches like Him (Job 36:22)?"
God is an awesome Teacher! I was a hard-headed student at times. I seemed to make some of the same mistakes over and over again.
This time, though, I knew God was on my side. And with God for me, who could be against me?
Even my self-sabotaging ways couldn’t stand up to God for long as I learned to submit to Him.
With His help and a promise to myself that I would never give up, I reached my goal. And you can too.
Are you ready to take back your temple? Then come join me on the journey in the Take Back Your Temple program, starting today.
God’s word talks about the wisdom of partnership. It’s easier when we do it together:
“Two are better than one,
Because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, 12).”
Be Blessed with Health, Healing, and Wholeness,
Author of the Take Back Your Temple program
P.S. Do you struggle with overeating sugar? If so, you are not alone!
Overcoming sugar addiction was a key factor on my journey to losing 85 pounds and dropping from a size 22 to a size 8.
In our 14-day Sugar Detox Challenge online course (inside the Take Back Your Temple program), you’ll get the same success strategies and support to gain peace in your eating habits and achieve lasting weight loss.
Click here to learn more about the Take Back Your Temple program.
“Prayer for Weight Loss”
Very true and very motivating!! Thank you for sharing!!! I love how transparent you are with us — transparent with your own past feelings and emotions — and transparent in your love for Jesus and for us. I never doubt that you want us to live our best possible lives in Christ!!!
Thank you for those encouraging words, Shana! God gave us His best through our relationship with Jesus. He gave us His word as our wisdom and His Spirit to walk it out. We have everything we need to have victory in our lives. I’m committed to the victory and pray for everyone else who names the name of Christ to commit to victory as well. It is ours and up to us to receive it!
I want to know more. I could use help in losing weight.
Hi Yvonne – you can learn more about the Take Back Your Temple program at takebackyourtemple.com/program. While the program is not a quick fix, it is a lasting one as you live out its principles. God bless you!
I prayed this morning for God’s help and I know He directed me here. I look forward to “taking my temple back” and maybe encouraging others to follow your website which will not only bring health and weightloss but a deeper relationship with Jesus! Thank you for sharing your journey and answering God’s call To teach Kimberly.
I’ve had some similar disappointing and humiliating moments over the past year and could relate to your story at the amusement park. Several years ago I got on a ride that went upside down and it had a full harness that didn’t snap into place well. I was terrified that the ride would start without someone noticing and was very thankful when the attendant came and suggested a different seat for me. This past year I was humiliated when I didn’t fit on the first of 4 plane rides. It was not only humiliating, but very painful and left a huge bruise on my thigh for weeks. After the 1st one, I was equally humiliated to have to approach the counter and explain my situation so they could then rearrange other travelers in order to place me in a seat with an empty seat beside me. I too heard God loud and clear, that it doesn’t have to be this way.
thanks for sharing!
I was in a similar situation about 12yrs back and I only 4’11” so when the ride went upside down I felt like all my weight was going to force the harness open and that was going to be my demise…I cried so hard after that I’ve never been on another ride…I won’t even go to the amusement park….I don’t like plane rides it always seemed like when I asked for the extension the flight attendant response would be amplified….I don’t like to be embarrassed so I mostly stay home…go to church & school. I was skeptical about this website but I’ve decided to give it a try. I too have prayed in the past and present to lose this weight I lost 6lbs last month and possibly a few more the last few weeks. Prayers of the righteous availeth much I’ve enjoyed the testimonies and transparency of the Women of God pray with me as I pray with you
Not being rude, but if you look at your before picture, that is where I am now. It seems to say to me that you were just doing the best that you could but you were not happy or satisfied with yourself. I know you chose the pictures and could have chosen another but go back and notice your hairstyles. They look about the same but one is more “pulled together”, if you get my meaning. Your “after” photo actually seems to beam joy. You sincerely look happier.
Thanks Patty – your comments are spot on! The things that I had gained in my “After” photo were worth so much more than the weight I lost. I used to feel like I was just getting by in the Before photo. I felt tired all the time and in spite of my smile, I felt fearful and anxious a lot of the time, which is what drove me to eat emotionally. Once I learned to do things God’s way, the emotional weight lifted which translated into my physical behavior and results. I am so glad to be sharing your journey with you!
I’m so grateful for your website I started with the your 90 day book back in January and I’ve lost 17lbs. I hit a plateau in March and I have not lost anything for a month, I got a bit discouraged but then remembered it is not about the weight it is about my relationship with God and that is what has kept me going. I am so grateful that I found your website.
Keep on preaching the word!
Praise God, Julie! Focus on holding onto that 17 pounds lost and celebrate that. That is ground you have taken back from the enemy and you don’t want to give it back. Discouragement will try to trick you into going backward, so please encourage yourself in the Lord. You will reach your goal at the right time.
You are absolutely right…the biggest benefit is deepening your relationship with God as you rely on Him with this issue. John 17:3 gives us the secret to life: “And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” May the Lord continue to bless you abundantly. Thank you for encouraging ME!
Thank you for sharing your testimony, you have inspired me to make up my mind to ask God to take back His temple and use it for His glory. I have known over the years that I needed help but always thought I just need self-discipline but God is who I really need.
Yes, Cheryl – all things are possible with God!
Amen Sister, yes, the three fold cord…
I really enjoyed your testimony, I have one myself and by the grace of God I have taken off almost 100lbs and gained 40back over 13years. I know God is gracing this round for me . I desire to get to my goal weight . Taking back your temple sounds great for me. I need your help!!!For most of my life i focused on the physical and there is so much more to me than the weightI have came to learn. My old habits continue to defeat me. I know who the son sets free is free! I believe & know i can do better. Thanks for the e-mails, i will never give up!!!
Amen, Renita! I am agreeing with you in prayer that you will succeed. As long as you don’t give up, you are destined to win!
I’m praying for you Julie. This is the time that you need to lean on Christ the most. So that you may have rest. May He reveal to you what is needed to have Supernatural Permanent weight loss.– Your Sister in Christ Danel
Your caring for Julie comes through Danel. Bless you 🙂
I honestly think that for some of us, being a healthier ideal weight will always be an unattainable dream. I’ve done it God’s way….many, many, many times, only to fail over and over again. Consistency is impossible for me–yes, I know ALL things are possible in Christ, but how does they work when ones track record looks like mine? I’m 46, wife 25 years, mom of 3 boys..my highest weight was 303, I’ve gained and lost the same 100 pounds repeatedly. For some of us, all the prayer, faith and scripture in the world doesn’t seem to enforce the PERMANENT change you have experienced. I WANT to be healthier. I WANT to be able to do certain things, but I’m tired of the fight and always trying so hard. Just some honesty..no hate..
Hi Julie, I completely and totally understand. As my husband often says – I have lost a total of 2 000 lb and found them all and more in last 20 years. I am 53 years old, my 2 sons are now teenagers, my life is great but busy. Stress or feeling overwhelmed makes me eat. All our friends love to cook – every gathering is a feast. And believe me – I only need to loose 30 lbs (it might sound silly – but this extra weight is just as hard to carry for my little body). I have no desire to shop for my clothes, I feel old and most of all I feel I am missing on too many things in my life. And with pre-menopause approaching where I gain weight just by thinking about it, I am so discouraged that it hurts. I don’t know what the solution is but I know one thing (as I made a bowl of tasty salad for my lunch) – I am NOT GIVING UP!! Please know – you are not alone. I hope you find out your way soon. I truly do. My heart goes to you! As I pray for my weight loss success I will have you in my prayers as well. Take care!
Oh ye of little faith. It’s so sad to read your words. It sounds as though you have given up. But because you are on this site, I wonder if you really have. If you have given up on losing weight, it’s okay. It is hard. We need to come to a place of peace with ourselves/bodies before we can make a change anyway. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
I too am struggling at 250lbs. I don’t know when it’s going to click for me, but I will never stop trying. TBYT is heaven sent. I am working on loving God and trusting God more than food. I want everything that God has for me. I know he is able to break this stronghold on my life. I know he is going to do it. When I was younger I remember how I would cursed like a sailor. I could not form a sentence without cursing. I decided to give my life to the Lord. So now that I am in Christ, I wanted to change the way I talked. I tried for months, but couldn’t do it. I loved him so much I didn’t want people to judge him because of me. So I not only prayed but I said Lord, I can’t do it. Take it away. After I prayed a sense of peace fell over me. I no longer tried to stop cursing. It was no longer stressing me out. I didn’t stop immediately, but one day I woke up and realized I hadn’t cursed in 2 months. I was like wow!! Thank you Jesus!!! It was nobody but the Lord. I know just like he took that away, I know he will take this food addiction away. We serve a mighty God. He is willing, but the flesh is weak. I pray you find peace. I pray the Lord gives you strength to do what you need to do to be happy and healthy. Don’t beat yourself up, you can’t do it. But please never say what God can’t do. Because he is able.
Powerful words, Tan. Because you believe in God’s power to heal, I know this will be your testimony also: “And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction (Mark 5:34).”
You seem to be frustrated, tired, and discouraged. I can relate because I have been there. However, you have drawn some mistaken conclusions that I believe are stumbling blocks to succeeding. Before you completely give up, I want you to take another look at these blocks. Here are some questions I have, based on what you wrote:
1. Who told you that you have failed? You cannot fail as long as you are still breathing and working on your dream. As long as you have breath, you have hope. The only way to fail is to quit. Quitting increases the chances to 100% that you will NEVER get what you want.
Just this morning, I was reflecting on the story of the woman with the issue of blood (see Luke 8:43-48). Don’t we all have issues? But this woman pressed her way to Jesus to get a touch from Him. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. Who knows how long she had sought Him out before she made it to Him? But in the end, she got what she pressed for because she didn’t give up. When she received her healing, Jesus said that it was her faith that made her well.
2. Speaking of faith, God answers prayers according to your faith, not your need. So where is your faith? The best definition I’ve heard of faith is “Full Assurance in the Heart.” Are you fully assured in your heart that God has power to help you with this issue in your life? What word from the Lord are you basing your prayers on? If you don’t have have a word from the Lord to base your faith on and are just trying to work a diet, then you cannot be doing things God’s way.
3. Scripture says that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. It is God’s strength that we lean on, not our own. We have to have “full assurance in the heart” that His strength is available to us and His word does not lie. What words from the Lord are you feeding yourself every day? Or are you only feeding yourself words of discouragement that make you want to quit and stay where you are?
4. Prayer is not one-way communication. It is two-way communication. Not only do you speak to God, but you listen to what He speaks to you. Then you obey what He tells you to do to receive your healing. The Holy Spirit may be telling you what you should do now to turn your situation around. What is He saying to you inside? Are you heeding His voice?
5. It takes faith AND patience to inherit God’s promises. Sometimes God heals instantaneously but other times He heals by process. He healed me by process, which took time. That is typically why many don’t receive their healing…because they don’t want to go through the process to change (which can be challenging) and/or aren’t willing to give the change time enough to complete. That differs from one person to another so you can’t compare yourself with others.
Lastly, you say you have a “track record.” Instead of looking at where you fell, look at where you slipped. What habits caused you to get off-track? A saying goes that the definition of insanity is doing the same things but expecting a different result. So if you keep regaining the weight, then you are likely driving yourself insane by doing the same things that made you overweight in the first place, but expecting the results to change.
Anyway, some “food” for thought. In the end, you are the only one who can decide how you want to live your life. I am praying for you.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It takes a tremendous
amount of courage to speak those kinds of things into the
universe. I am in my fifties now, and have struggled with
food since I was ten. Sometimes it’s hard to think of all those
years gone by. The temptation is to believe they were wasted, but
God wastes nothing. Jesus’ name is Redeemer! I am slowly taking back my temple, with
God’s help. Glad to hear there is a sister out there!
Thanks Elizabeth – you know, it wasn’t easy going back there but I decided to post it in case someone else is like me. In hindsight, it was an “Esau” type trade. Recall he traded his birthright for a bowl of stew. In my case, I was trading my life for Pepperidge Farm coconut cake, fast food, and Girl Scout cookies!
You are right about your past…those years haven’t been wasted. Just keep the receipt on those years so that once you reach your ideal size, you don’t allow yourself to get amnesia about what habits made you overweight. If you remember them and the pain associated with them, it’s less likely you’ll go back to them. Keep me updated on how it’s going. Praying for your success!
Amen, that is pretty humiliating, I can’t remember the last time I have ridden a roller coaster ride, but, I can envision doing so, considering I have a 3 year old……….My only escape is submission…I’m ready Lord, Work it out of Me!!! 😉 Praise God for this testimony you have shared Kimberly, yes, it helps because looking at you & listening to you never fails to give me the encouragement of Our Father’s love and TRUTH, this truth shall set me free indeed…daily, I’m digging into this & I’m not going to give up. I can do all things through Chris Jesus who strengthens me. Pressing forward!