Have you ever wondered why you sometimes make the wrong decisions?
How you can increase your emotional intelligence so you can make the right decisions?
I discovered the shocking truth about how our brains make decisions recently.
If you don’t know this, you will always be at the mercy of your old, negative mental programming.
However, once you practice this truth, you will increase your emotional intelligence every day.
You can then declare your independence from destructive habits!
Let me explain how this works from an example with which most of us are familiar.
Imagine that you’ve been invited to a party. You are at a dessert buffet and now having to choose between the chocolate cake and the fruit salad.
Now you had decided to eat healthy before going to the party.
But with the choices before your eyes, you pick up the cake without even thinking about it.
Or did you really not think about it?
Let’s rewind. You need to know what happens in your brain before you take any action.
Whenever you make any decision in the present, your brain always searches your past first.
Because God designed our brains to work efficiently. He designed us to learn from our experiences.
Otherwise, we’d have to re-learn mundane tasks over and over – like how to brush our teeth every day!
Our brains are like the ultimate learning computer.
So your brain will search your memories first for situations that are similar to the one you are facing now to help you make decisions.
Not only that, but your brain will recall all the feelings you had with that previous situation.
Emotions move you to action. Remember e-motion.
This is where emotional intelligence comes in.
Positive feelings attract you, but negative feelings repel you – just like a magnet.
Let’s say that you made yourself feel deprived and resentful the last time you chose the fruit salad – negative feelings.
Your negative feelings arose from your negative self-talk: “I really want that cake, but I need to get rid of this fat. It’s so unfair that I have eat this when everybody else can eat whatever they want.”
If your brain believes that the fruit salad is a painful choice and remembers the negative feelings you generated with the fruit salad choice previously, then there is no surprise in the action you will take:
Your brain will direct your hands to get the cake. Your thoughts created attractive feelings for the cake, but negative feelings for the fruit salad!
Joyce Meyer said it best: “Where the mind goes, the man follows.”
Your brain processes all of your memories and past feelings from your experience so fast that you aren’t aware of it.
Here is what is really shocking though: Scientists believe that up to 90% of what we do is automatic.
In other words, you just repeat the same patterns from the past – like a stuck record!
That’s why you keep dancing along to that same old sad song.
Now you might think this truth makes you a victim of your past.
However, that is far from the truth.
God has given us a way to change our tune!
You can turn around any lying, negative self talk and the negative feelings that go along with it.
You can create truthful self talk and better memories that fit the person you want to become.
This is why the Bible directs us:
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God (Romans 12:2).”
According to this scripture, we have 2 choices in how to live:
- Be conformed to this world (death)
- Be transformed by the renewing of our minds (eternal life in Christ)
Romans not only tells us that it is possible to change, but why we must change as believers in Jesus Christ.
If we fail to renew our minds, we will continue to allow the world and our past programming to shape us!
We will keep dancing to that destructive tune: “Garbage in, garbage out.”
However, through renewing our minds to Gods thoughts and ways daily, we can re-program our minds to God’s way of thinking.
We can give ourselves new memories, new positive self-talk from which our brains can draw.
We will then be in position to manifest more of God’s blessings for us – dancing in praise to Him!
How do you override your brain’s past negative programming and increase your emotional intelligence?
The first step is to start paying attention to how you are thinking.
Scriptures directs us to do this daily work:
casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5),
You are always having conversations within yourself. The question is: What are you hearing? What is the rhythm of your thoughts?
Eavesdrop on your self talk.
Does your self-talk agree with what God says?
Or are you just mentally rehearsing what someone else said, what the world says, or even your own negative conclusions?
In Luke 8:18, Jesus said:
“Therefore take heed how you hear. For whoever has, to him more will be given; and whoever does not have, even what he seems to have will be taken from him.”
You want everything that God has for you.
Remember that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God (see Romans 10:17).
You can increase your emotional intelligence the more your hear – either eternally through the words you speak or those others speak, and internally through your self-talk.
Increased emotional intelligence helps you make better decisions.
This is the most important work to do every day.
Now before the apostle Paul shows us the way to change in Romans 12:2, he gives us the why to commit to change in Romans 12:1:
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.
Because the Lord created our bodies, we want to gift our bodies back to Him (present) and make ourselves available to build up His kingdom.
With a sacrifice, you exchange something of lesser value for something of greater value.
Remember how Jesus gave up His body as a sacrifice for us?
He loved us so much that went to the cross to save us from our sins.
He conquered death and the grave so that we can live a new life in Him.
Don’t be deceived; you can’t get a new thing by hanging on to the old stuff – and that includes your old thoughts!
Start that work of taking your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ.
And you will declare your independence from the habits that bind you!
Be blessed with health, healing, and wholeness,
Author of the Take Back Your Temple program
P.S. When it comes to weight loss, do you often know what you should do but have a hard time doing it?
I struggled with this issue on my own weight loss journey, but I discovered that “Nothing is different until you think differently.” – Pastor James MacDonald
The value of the Take Back Your Temple program is that you will learn how to think differently through using Biblical keys to overcome obstacles. You’ll discover how to win the Spiritual and mental battle that often causes us to become inconsistent and get off-track on our weight loss journey.
Join a community of like-minded Christians losing weight and keep it off.
Click here to learn more about the Take Back Your Temple program
So very, very good. Thanks Kimberly!
Amazing!! Thankyou Kimberly, your blog was the perfect concluder to this Ted talk I watched on You tube this morning.
Jeff Gains explains the mind in 3 categories, Robot, Emoter and Thinker.
However, our help as Christ-ones through His Word and Prayer is the Holy Spirit, who will perform a good work in us and conform us to the image of Christ, Amen.
This is a must watch, it does help to explain the way our minds drive our decisions.
Thank you for sharing this Tara! I will be sure to put this one on my watch list because the way God designed the way the brain works fascinates me!
Hi Tara – thank you So much for sharing! Wow, I watched the video and it really is a great companion to this article. I also bought his book, Fat Broke and Busy too because I want to know more. God bless you!
Thank you for this, Kimberly! The audio version is very helpful.
I need to get back on track and want to change my thinking.
You are welcome, Sheri – it makes a BIG difference!
I loved this, Kimberly! Thank you so much for using your gifts and talents to help others in gaining victory in this struggle. I value your knowledge, wisdom and willingness to be used by God to help others. I feel like I’m learning so much, please pray for my focus and retention…to remember where my strength comes from when I am weak. God Bless you, my Sister in Christ.
You are welcome, Winnie – I give all glory to God!
Thank you for this very important lesson.
You are welcome, Janeen – it’s something we all need to be aware of every day!
Love the audio! I can do chores, exercise etc. while listening. Very helpful 😀
Thank you for your feedback, Betty – glad it was helpful!